News in Brief-Irish Vegan Joins Elite As Ryanair Draw Ire Of McFadden

The proposed headquarters for Anglo Irish Bank, sold to the Central Bank in 2012, standing in Dublin’s North Quay has been vandalised. Despite having CCTV and security arrangements in place the shell of a building was daubed with anti-semitic slurs. The aptly named, At Risk Security monitor the land directly behind the site. There now considering a name change to We’ve Got a Great Big Dog So Feck Off Security.

Leinster House have been learning the rules of soccer after a visit from Irish team manager Giovanni Trapattoni to the Oireachtas Republic of Ireland Supporters’ Club. The newly formed club currently boasts 63 TD’s and senators who were all keen to learn from the Italian manager. Club secretary Senator John Gilroy said: “We had a chat about where the game is,” – usually on a pitch – “and what we can do as Oireachtas members to encourage the game.” Over-priced kits and generic memorabilia are traditional. Ah no, good luck to the lads in ROISC sure what else have they got to do?

A woman in Naas has this week been named one of four finalists in the UK and Ireland’s Sexiest Vegan competition (a meaty bit of news!). Laura Dayton, who has been given the title by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) shares the honour with Bill Clinton, Leona Lewis and Joaquin Phoenix. According to PETA UK Associate Director vegans are healthier and have more energy. Phwoar that sexy, sexy energy.

Apparently there are too many cars using the motorways €1bn was spent doing up three years ago. Well, sorry. Next too many people will have paid the household charge and the country won’t be in enough debt. Apparently according to the National Roads Authority our motorways are at “safe operational capacity” which makes NIB wonder what our roads are actually good at if not being roads, and what might happen if they breach? Collapse into the Earth’s core? Meltdown on an apocalyptic level? Will Galway become an entirely separate nation?

In Showbiz news Brian McFadden was not flying without wings (did he do that one?) when he was asked by Ryanair to pay up an extra €175 in excess luggage fees and to print off his boarding pass. Ryanair spokesman Robin Kiely said: “We’re surprised that Mr McFadden, having agreed to print his boarding card, couldn’t manage this super-complex task, which is accomplished daily by over 80 million passengers.” ZING!

And on that note NIB says farewell for another week to sexy vegans everywhere.

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