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News in Brief-Enda Dons Clown Pants As Author Rips Bono

endaSomeone’s been sending dirty nappies to Leinster House. It’s unclear to what this dirty protest relates or if it is the work of a group or individual. A Leinster House source commented: “We’re not too bothered by it.”

That is literally the end of that story.

In other scatological news, an Taoiseach Enda Kenny, has been urinating on the Seanad. While dressed as a clown! Or so NIB is led to believe. Disgusting behaviour by a member of . . . Which one is he again? Irrelevant, for a grown man to relieve himself in public on a national institution no less and in the giant shoes and face paint, suggests a rather lackadaisical attitude to Irish affairs. Enda, consider yourself told off.

In the past twelve months the price of alcohol and education has risen by 0.4pc. Seems then it’s time to make a choice, learning or lager. Reminds NIB of the time teacher asked if we wanted any homework over the weekend. To a cheery shout of “no!” The sadist laughed and said: “When you look back in middle-age, sad, bloated, alone and with a three-day hangover you’ll wish you’d done your homework.” Turns out teachers just don’t know how to have a good time.

TD’s have come under fire from the pro-life mob over proposed abortion legislation. Enda’s been getting letters written in blood and one or part of the group have been threatening to cut throats. Seems rather odd given their stance on human rights. NIB doesn’t want to get involved in an argument particularly not with hypocritical, misinformed, ignorant bastards so we’ll leave it at that.

Talking of . . . There’s a new book out about the Bono. Only codding, poor old Bono. He tries to do good things and only meets persecution, all those thankless miracles he’s performed like making his tax euro disappear. You know he once spent forty days and nights in Africa with no Evian the poor lamb. We may as well nail him to the cross now. Apparently this new tome penned by journalist Harry Browne is less than complimentary about the U2 frontman. Unimaginable.

That’s it for this week’s brief news, sure what more do you need, pee, poo, pro-lifers and Bono? A drink! Hurrah! And don’t forget children, beer before wine makes you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer. Bit of free education there, tell that to your teachers.

Image courtesy of Politics.ie

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