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News In Brief – Geldof Space Bound As World’s Ugliest Animal Revealed

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Another week, another wasted opportunity to write seriously about current affairs in this country. Oh well, here’s the news in brief.

A drugs gang have been busted for failing to grow any actually drugs. 150 marijuana plants were found by Gardai in rural Donegal before they discovered the plants were all male, meaning they don’t contain the ’high’ chemical. They’re effectively spinach. Gardai have been forced to downgrade the find from €120,000 worth of drugs to €0 of nothing. The potential weed farmers are likely to be spared jail for doing little more than arable farming.

Have you managed to get your tickets for the All Ireland final? If not try eBay where some were being sold for €7054.75 for two seats in the Cusack Stand. Bidding started at €700 but quickly skyrocketed due to demand. Desperate fans will be brought back down to earth though as the seller has decided he fancies going himself.

Not the only thing soaring skywards this week, Bob Geldof’s off to space. Just an average week for him then. As one of the first Space XC astronauts the Boomtown Rat will undertake his voyage in 2014. Why Sir Bob? You obviously ask. Well NIB doesn’t know. So there.

Another question NIB doesn’t know the answer too is why a senior exec at Anglo Irish Bank, the great bunch of lads that brought the country to its knees, has been granted immunity from prosecution by the Director of Public Prosecutions. Matt Moran, chief financial advisor at the time of the crash, will not face legal proceedings despite being a key figure in the bank at it’s demise. You know what banker rhymes with? . . . . That is the only joke NIB can glean from this story.

The Ugly Animals Preservation Society (yeah they’re a real thing) has crowned the Blobfish as the World’s ugliest animal. Seems a bit harsh, there are plenty of uglier animals on TV. The Society was trying to raise the profile of specific, particularly unattractive, animals that face extinction, with comedians and celebrities championing their cause and requesting the public vote. The Blobfish is found in Australian waters but Ireland has plenty of it’s own ugly ducklings; (to avoid slander NIB will let you fill in your own answers) ………………, ……………….., ……………….

Before we go, don’t forget an important vote is coming up on October 4th, where you have the chance to make a difference to the island we live on so NIB asks you; What’s better baked beans or spaghetti hoops?

Image courtesy of The Telegraph

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