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News In Brief – Asda Causes A Fuss As More Anglo Cash Uncovered

asda

Another week, another excuse to hit the bottle. Did you raise a glass to Arthur yesterday? If so well done, you are part of the marketing machine that will keep our country attached to the teet of the booze business. Still, nice bit of Guinness though.

That was a rather bitter start (get it? Guinness, bitter?) . NIB will promise to be more positive from now on, once recovered from yesterday’s hangover.

Bono’s had enough of people going on at him for not paying tax in Ireland. Poor Bono. If there’s a spare ticket on Bob Geldof’s spaceship he might want to consider snapping it up, NIB understands tax rates on the moon are non-existent and the views rival Dalkey. On a side note have you seen the picture of Geldof in his suit? Holy mother of Bob.

Teachers have been warned they risk damaging their pupils if they insist on strike action. What they see as the collapse of the Croke Park agreement has caused many to take to staring angrily at press photographers, members of the government and the general public causing President of the Principals’ association Kay O’Brien to issue a warning. Reportedly in Ballinspittle a teacher’s eyes popped out after staring for too long.

An Post have launched four new stamps to highlight Ireland’s “diversity” . They feature a pint of Coors Light, curry chips, Lidl’s own brand tea bags and a ticket to Australia.

The IPCC are due to release a report on global warming which blames humans for causing the most detrimental effects. It’s true a lot of fumes rise above Dublin, but that’s entirely down to the burning of cash behind Anglo’s doors.

It’s not even October and already the shops are filling up with Halloween crap. In the UK they’ve crapper crap than usual with Asda offering a ‘Mental Patient’ costume. Really classy. For the Halloweener who’s done everything from Buzz Lightyear to someone out of Ballykissangel. Asda have expectedly received a fair bit of criticism for their costume, which features a bloodied boiler suit and butcher’s knife, from various mental health groups. Seriously, who came up with this one, a mental patient?

Before NIB leaves you to your Friday fun, no one told us the National Sausage and Pudding competition was in the R.D.S. last week!

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