News in Brief-Ireland Goes Blaa Blaa As Michael D Set To Visit Lizzy


Blaa, Blaa, Blaa, only in Waterford! That’s right, the floury nap has been given protected status so that the name Blaa can only be applied if the bread is made in the South East. They join Champagne, Cornish Pasties and Feta Cheese after a group of Waterford bakers united to prevent imitators.

A nun has had her claim for damages of €38,000 after a car accident quashed as the judge ruled the accident never happened. Sister Helen Ugbome, of the Nigeria-based Holy Family Sisters told the court she was hit in the rear of her vehicle by Edel Macklin from Glasnevin, while stopped at traffic lights. However Ms Macklin disputed the claims saying, she was stopped behind Sr Ugbome when she got out of her car, told Macklin she’d hit her and got her insurance details. The judge however wasn’t having it and suggested Sr Ugbome was in fact trying to claim an estimate of insurance after an accident a month previous. God giveth and God does taketh away.

President Michael D is off to England to see the Queen! Although he has visited before ’unofficially’ (you didn’t see him right!) he’s going back at Liz’s invitation for a mini-break next April with Mrs Higgins. More exciting though is the news that while there, he’ll also be having a chat with London Mayor Boris “Boffo” Johnson. It is unknown what the two will get up to but knowing Boris it’ll be something suitably inappropriate and borderline offensive.

During his time as Mayor, Boris has been responsible for changes to the British transport system, noticeably his bikes and his buses, but Irish Rail has shown this week a novel approach to connecting with it’s users via social media. After a lorry hit a bridge in Clontarf, Irish Rail took to Twitter to assure commuters Dart services would be reinstated when damage was assessed but also to warn the lorry driver they knew where he lived! “To the trucker who hit bridge, failed to report it & left scene: we have your reg & company you drive for. Talk soon, lots to discuss,” their official tweet said, in a not unthreatening tone. NIB must say we like this new Irish Rail, sounding like a cross mammy.

Maybe Irish Rail need to chill out, have a pint, go back to work in a bit lads, it’s grand. It’s what the country wants. At least according to Labour Chief Whip Emmet Stagg who reckons it’s fine if TD’s have a few drinks during work, you know making all the important decisions, we all can actually, sure why not at our desks? In fact, don’t bother with the office at all, to the pub!

NIB wasn’t joking, get away with you, TO THE PUB!

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