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News in Brief : Backhanders And Blackouts

dobson

NIB is sure we’ve covered this before, but hey, Irish women are the best looking in the world and that’s cause for celebration (drink based traditionally). The ranks made up by a dating site, aptly called BeautifulPeople.com weren’t so positive about Irish men though, ranking them third ugliest on the planet. It’s a small positive though as a few years ago they were ranked the ugliest. Sorry lads.

Talking of beautiful Irish things, we’re going to start selling off our heritage sites to the highest bidder. In yet another example of the Government trying to claw back the cash they splurged on champagne and caviar, they are now going to lease out sites like Dublin and Kilkenny Castles, Derrynane House and Doneraile Wildlife Park to the most persuasive tender. Apparently the rules are that any new commercial usage plans must be in check with the historical heritage of the site so no casinos or hotels will be permitted, unless the brown envelope’s thick enough. Minister for Public Service Reform Brian Hayes said: ‘I don’t know how successful it’s going to be, I have to be very frank.’

Director General of the HSE Tony O’Brien has been making funny signals this week, accusing those signing the pay checks in the health care system of nodding and winking. NIB imagines this is somewhat like patting your head and rubbing your belly at the same time, or the Hokey Cokey! How odd. It’s actually surprising the ‘top-up’ cheques paid to some staff weren’t higher when you imagine someone trying to write whilst nodding and winking. Go on, do it now. Go on it’s fun. Nod, wink, nod, wink.

They should try nodding and winking at the ESB crisis talks to avoid Christmas blackouts. Apparently some manufacturers have had to ask staff to step up production on electrical appliances and other export goods to ensure demand is met before we’re all forced to take a month off. It’s quite like a modern-day Christmas story, with unionised elves working away and a pension present-stealing baddie, we just need a suitable Santy to save the day.

Suggestions on a postcard for that one. Probably not Bryan Dobson though who’s had to make a public apology after calling some protestors “idiots”. He was annoyed after they interrupted a live interview broadcast he was doing on the news on Wednesday night, telling his interviewee: ‘The idiots behind you are a bit of a distraction’ but was on the receiving end of a Twitter backlash for his comments. Dobson has now apologised saying he didn’t mean to cause offence, you wanted to hear what he said off camera lads, jaysus it was desperate.

Politician Danny Healy Rae has cemented his place in the nation’s heart after stating he was too busy to become a “TV heartthrob”. In what can only be described as a story written by Graham Linehan and Arthur Matthews, Healy Rae felt forced to comment after the success of TV3’s Monday night programme “At Home with the Healy Raes”. ‘I’ve no time to go into the filum making business’ Danny commented in NIB imagines his strong Kerry brogue, ‘If they want to do any more I’d have to give up my role as a councillor and go into competition with all the latest TV heartthrobs.But I’m sorry, I don’t have time for that.’ He went on. PLEASE DANNY!

And that’s your showbiz news for the week. Anyway, there is about to be a localised power-cut here for NIB, we’re off out, good luck.

Image courtesy of thejournal.ie

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