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Prisoner Returns To Jail To Avoid Arguing With His Wife

prison

The idea of your day’s routine being identical to your previous day’s routine would be an anathema to this correspondent (likes the odd change in schedule).

Your correspondent though came across an interesting individual recently who thought differently towards his day’s routine and was quite happy for it to be the same as the previous day’s one.

It relates to a thirty-two year old Tunisian, Walid Chaabani, from Livorno in Italy who your correspondent read about in the Times newspaper.

Walid had been convicted of a drug dealing offence and was sentenced to a jail-term in the Sughere prison in Tuscany. With eighteen-months left to serve on his sentence, Walid was given the option of finishing off his stretch at home under house detention.

He accepted this offer and was homeward bound in time for Christmas. It appears though that when he arrived home, he felt less at home than he did in the prison he’d just left.

This was evident by his visit to the local magistrate on New Year’s Eve to request re-admission to the Sughere prison. He informed the judge that he wished to be allowed back into the Sughere jail because he was tired of arguing with his missus. The magistrate granted him his request, and that evening he was happily ensconced back behind the walls of the Sughere prison.

What intrigues this correspondent is why Walid would choose Sughere’s daily enforced routine, over home, (where admittedly he had frequent quarrels with the missus), but also where there was no forced schedule placed on him?

The answer may be found from the examination of a typical day in prison.

In prison (to quote Norman Stanley Fletcher in Porridge explaining the different prisons’ regimes, “bird is bird”) Walid would have had to adhere to an enforced ritualised schedule of being woken up at 7.00am; having breakfast 7.30am; starting work at 8.00am with fellow inmates; exercising in the yard at 11am; being banged up in cell at 11.30am; having dinner at 12.30pm with inmates; starting work again at 1.30pm; being banged up again in cells at 4.30pm; having supper with inmates at 5.30pm; having recreational association at 6.15pm (ping-pong, Telly, chess, etc); going back to cells at 7.15pm; having the lights turned out at 8.00pm.

This planned routine at Sughere of a wake-up call, meals, work, exercise, recreational activities, and bedtime would appear to have been more acceptable to Walid then the daily routine he had at home.

This correspondent conjectures that Walid’s daily routine at home could be teased out by using the daily scheduled routine prisons have (which Walid was happy with) and doing the opposite of what is done there.

So starting in the morning he probably wasn’t woken up by the missus as she would have forgotten to wake him; after coming into the kitchen he would have found no breakfast cooked as the missus was on a low-fat diet and didn’t want the smell of fatty foods tempting her; then while doing some morning house-chores he’d find he has no one to talk to as the missus has gone out either to the shops or meeting friends for exercise/coffee etc. In the afternoon (after she arrives back home) he’d have a dinner that resembles something you would feed a rabbit as the missus would be deadly serious about her low calorie diet; after this he’d offer to help with house-work (as something to do), but his offer would be refused as the missus would think he would not do the job properly; to pass the afternoon until supper time he’d smoke a few fags, drink a few cups of tea and watch some day-time TV. At supper time he’d ring up a mate who has just finished work and ask him to pick up some fish and chips from the chipper as he would be ravenous for something proper to eat by this stage; after supper he’d enquire about some recreational association in the bedroom but be turned down on account of the missus being tired out from her day on the go; at bedtime (after some reading in bed) he’d realise that he’d have to get out of the bed and turn the light-switch off as the missus had crawled into bed earlier and fallen asleep.

There are lessons to be learned from Walid’s sad sojourn at home, especially for those thinking of taking the plunge into matrimony. As a non-plunger, if your correspondent was to meet the future Mrs C he’d make sure, before tying the knot that (a) he’d know how to work the alarm on his mobile phone; (b) he’d know how to cook; and (c) he always had a long stick beside the bed.

Image courtesy of 959thehawk.com

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