News in Brief – Hacked Off Brendan Drops A Howler


‘Has there been bugging? What’s bugging? Am I a bug?’ Minister Brendan Howlin asked assembled journalists in relation to Garda Ombudsman ’eaves-dropping’ to put it nicely, or phone-hacking. It seems Brendan was at a loss as to what exactly had happened inside the offices of the Garda Ombudsman or where in fact he was.

Where are you? Abroad? Australia or Canada, the promised lands? Well if ye are, ye need to learn to speak proper. According to RTE journalist and voice of the Luas (!) Doireann Ni Bhriain mispronouncing certain words could get you in trouble, when trying to settle abroad. Instead of tay you must say tea, three instead of tree and diddly-ie diddly-ie diddly-ie dee ever time you enter a room, just so everyone knows where you’re from.

Or get drunk, then they’ll know you’re Irish, just like the drunk leprechaun in a new mobile game app that’s come out of America. The aim of the game is to keep the leprechaun on his feet while he downs pint after pint in a digital world of neknominations. Oh and the beer is green, and everything is green. It’s been labelled racist by many Irish and condemned for painting us as stereotypical alcoholics. Green ones. Yeah. Bloody yanks taking the piss with their giant buckets of Coca-Cola, big fat burger bellies and pockets full of guns. Stick it up your bum!

Anyway back to actual news. We say “actual news” as there isn’t a lot of it this week that isn’t about spying on the Garda Ombudsman Commission or the storms. But neither of them are very funny. In fact it might not matter, you may not even be reading this with electricity out everywhere.

Thank god then for Garth Brooks who promises to assuage Ireland’s worries with his stadium crap-rock. Not everyone is excited though. Residents living near Croke Park are up in arms that Garth has been allowed book so many nights at the stadium despite a historic agreement that only three concerts a year would take place at the venue. A meeting between Aiken Promotions, the residents association and the GAA became very heated as Aiken told the residents to get with the programme, “times move on”. Seemingly promoters have been able to sell tickets for the five nights without yet obtaining a licence, like telling your mates there’s a party at yours without making sure you’re parents are out first. The residents are said to be “irate” at the GAA for allowing the gigs, but perhaps the real issues is none of them got tickets?

Maybe next week we’ll have some more news to report, watch out for bugs and Brendan a Howlin, good luck.

Image courtesy of Google Play Store

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