Pillow-less Talk


As welfare scams go, your correspondent came across a gem recently, while browsing through The Times newspaper. It can be added to other novel ‘Welfare-Defrauding Gems’ this correspondent has heard of, such as; a prisoner receiving job seeker’s allowance while still serving a sentence in an Irish prison; and a pensioner collecting his and his friend’s pension in England despite his friend being deceased for some time.

This tale comes from Antonio Joao, a small town in the western Brazilian state of Mato Grosso do Sol and relates to the actions of a Mr Da Silva Rosa.

Mr Da Silva Rosa had registered his four year old, Billy for a ‘Bolsa Familia’ (Brazilian equivalent of children’s allowance). After seven months of claiming Bolsa Familia payments for young Billy, a local health inspector came out to weigh him. A perplexed Mrs Da Silva Rosa (who answered the door) enquired as to why the local health board were interested in weighing her pet cat Billy. It transpired that Mr Da Silva Rosa had neglected to inform his missus that he was receiving benefit payments for the cat.

Mr Da Silva Rosa now faces a criminal investigation into his entrepreneurial ‘feline fiddle’ as part-consequence of keeping his missus in the dark over the Bolsa Familia payments.

The above account reminds your correspondent of another incident (mentioned in previous correspondence) of a partner not keeping his significant-other in the know, which also led to a criminal investigation.

This concerns a German woman Franziska being taken to court by her ex-boyfriend Tim Schmidt, who claimed, she attempted to kill him by suffocation with her 38 DD breasts while being amorous in the bedroom.

Franziska denied the claim stating that it was a sex game, but judging by her boyfriend’s reaction to the sandwich smother (he fled naked to his neighbour’s house where he phoned the police), one would surmise she hadn’t explained the rules of the game to him.

The lessons this correspondent has garnered from these anecdotes are, if one is going to utilise household pets or parts of one’s body, to serve for some purpose or other, one might want to let one’s nearest & dearest in on it, as to keep them out of the loop, may result in some unfortunate consequences to one’s good-self. Ask Franziska & Mr Da Silva Rosa…

Image courtesy of theology21.com

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