Funniest Sports Quotes


We have heard them all over the years but I must say that I did get a laugh from revisiting some of these classics. Some are just comments that haven’t been thought through, others are from sports people that probably still can’t see the funny side and others are just from those that are plain thick and yes Kevin Keegan does appear in the list more than once. Brian O’Driscoll once said that, ‘knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad’. Now that’s a good quote, see what you think of these and feel free to contribute any that you think would merit a mention.

ROCKY GRAZIANO: “I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it but because I couldn’t spell it”.

KEVIN KEEGAN: “The Germans only have one player under 22 and he’s 23”.

GEORGE BEST: “I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted”.

MUHAMMAD ALI: “I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won”.

RON ATKINSON: ‘Well Clive, it’s all about the two M’s: movement and positioning”.

MIKE TYSON: “He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’. I’m not a recluse”.

GREG NORMAN: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father”.

TIGER WOODS: “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps”.

LEE TREVINO: “You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work”.

JOHN LAMBIE: (The Partick Thistle manager on being told his concussed striker did not know who he was) “That’s great, tell him he’s Pele and get him back on”.

BOBBY ROBSON: “We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought”.

KEVIN KEEGAN: “Chile have three options, they could win or they could lose”.

KEVIN KEEGAN: “England has the best fans in the world and Scotland’s are second to none”.

STEVE LOMAS: “Germany are a very difficult team to play……..they had eleven internationals out there today”.

IAN RUSH: “I couldn’t really settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country”.

MARK VIDUKA: “I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league”.

ALAN SHEARER: “I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life and hopefully after that as well”.

GLENN HODDLE: “I have a number of alternatives and each one gives me something different”.

Ok so the best until last as they say and please do add to the list as I’m sure there are so many other classics that haven’t been listed here.

DAVID BECKHAM: “My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7”.

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