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News In Brief – No Make Up Selfie Mix Up Saves Polar Bears

dougalThere have been some great news stories this week. Too much in fact for NIB, it’s meant to be brief!

To kick us off a man in Cavan has been banned from painting roads for two years. Martin Hannigan, an ‘anti-pothole’ campaigner, has been threatened with a prison sentence if he continues to paint warning signs around potholes on his county’s roads. Ironically he has also been fined for damaging the public highway, the very highway he wants to save! He needs Bono.

This week Bono was named one of the eight best people in the world or something (NIB refuses to read the story or believe the hype). Someone that would agree with me is Mayo TD Dara Calleary, who has accused the Taoiseach of caring more about the U2 front-man than the economy, saying the government is obsessed with ‘being famous’. But sure it’s the only way we’d know who they were.

Apart from Alan Shatter of course, we all know who he is given the ongoing scandal. No, not the Garda whistleblowers thing, but his eponymous ‘racy novel’ Laura which is still selling a shocking one copy a week. Come on, who is it? Who’s keeping Shatter in silk socks? Stop it!

Thank god for real people, like those that have spent the last week saving polar bears in the UK. All right, they didn’t actually mean to, they meant to donate money to breast cancer awareness with a viral craze of ‘no make-up selfies’ it’s just that some were so busy pouting they sent their donations direct to BEAR (Unicef and World Wildlife Foundation) rather than BEAT (Cancer Research UK). Still mammals have mammaries too!

If you do have a penchant for protecting animals don’t send your sheep to Wexford! Organisers of Golden Shears World Championships in Gorey have appealed for 1000 shaggy sheep to shave, for their own amusement NIB might add! Apparently anyone that wants to donate gets a free dinner out of it, roast lamb.
‘How’s it goin’ are ye well?’ Louis Walsh asked the Queen when he met her at Buckingham Palace during the week, representing the nation’s best at a reception for those that have ‘contributed’ to Anglo-Irish relations. Also in attendance were Mrs Doyle and Westmeath man Niall Horan who reportedly asked: ”How’s your mother for sugar?’

That’s it for another week. Go on, get out.

Image courtesy of Channel 4

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