News in Brief- Gardai Enjoy Eggcellent Banter


For the day that was in it this week you have to be careful what you believe in this edition of NIB . . .

Limerick Council have introduced a new approach to dog littering, installing motion activated sensors that remind dog walkers to pick up after their pooch. NIB thinks it is a fantastic idea and could be rolled out to other areas of anti-social behaviour, OR EVEN BETTER, make them holograms! If Paul O’Connell popped up in the street as you casually threw aside a fag butt you’d be pretty quick about picking it up again.

A young Irish girl has had a community order imposed on her in the UK after she hit an Asda staff member in the face with a fish – they certainly weren’t breaming after the unprovoked attack! After approaching the fish counter, the young girl began asking questions about the variety of fish on offer before grabbing a large one and slapping the employee around the face with it while her young male accomplice filmed the incident on his phone, before both ran off. Unfortunately for the two they were recognised on CCTV and given community orders that included apologising to the victim, which at least turned their trout pout upside down.

Go immediately to your Twitter machines! The Garda Traffic account is cracking some eggcellent jokes. NIB is always a fan of a good egg pun – remember the time Enda ended up with egg on his face, literally and metaphorically – well whoever is behind @Gardatraffic shares our sense of humour. When someone tweeted their housemate had eaten their eggs, could they be charged, it kicked off an afternoon of hen-based banter, including ‘if they were eggs from a battery hen you could have him re-charged’ and ‘we did not have to scramble all available units’. You wouldn’t think the force is in the middle of a scandal.

Unfortunately Irish Rail isn’t having such like with their PR after Transport Minister Leo Varadkar admitted he loves trains! ‘I’m romantic’ he stated, ‘I had a train set as a kid’. This follows complaints from passengers that Leo has been careering along commuter carriages making chug-chug-chug-chug noises.

A farmer in Kildare has got a Geep! A half-sheep, half-goat hybrid complete with long legs, horns and the cold dead eyes of a sheep. Somehow don’t think the producers behind Babe will be rushing to make a movie of the ugly animal.

Mountjoy Prison officers fear the prison could be over-run with sniffer dogs after all drugs have been found, confiscated and sold on. OR NIB could have got that story backwards.

Until next time . . .

Image courtesy of O’Shaughnessy

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