News in Brief- No Plane Sailing For Rogue Irish


Turns out Garda Commissioner Martin Callinan was sacked ‘on a whim’, NIB’s feeling whimmy this week, or full of whimsy, or whatever the phrase may be. Anyway . . .

Two Tic-tac workers have been offered a sweet deal after they were sacked by the sweet-maker for changing the recipe on a batch of Tic-tacs in a case of ‘gross misconduct’ (this story wins an award for most bizarre thing NIB’S heard in a while). How would you change the Tic-tac recipe, more importantly why? They’re hardly Willy Wonka worthy treats. Anyway, it doesn’t matter; the two workers were found to have been unfairly dismissed and awarded a pay-out in court.

Aer Lingus air stewards are in trouble for being ‘drunk and abusive’ on a transatlantic flight. Not that there’s any proof that they were, an American couple complained when they had a little bit of hot tea spilled on them and accused the air stewards of being intoxicated. The stewards were interviewed by the Captain but there was no evidence to support the claims. Honestly. You just know the type don’t you, they probably shout at kids who accidentally kick a ball into their garden as well. NIB doesn’t blame the stewards even if they were a little bit pissed; it takes at least 3 gins before we can get on a plane.

More aggravation arises as it turns out Rihanna is being sued for defamation by her Irish ex-bodyguard. Geoffrey Keating accompanied the singer on a leg of her tour before being unceremoniously dumped. Following his dismissal, Rihanna began a campaign of calling his family members and sending them rude emails, as you would if you’ve got a hell of a lot of money and nothing to do. But now Keating’s taking her to court. NIB would like to make a pun on a Rihanna song here but unfortunately we don’t really know anyway, just Wikipedia her and fill in your own.
According to the Indo if you can’t stand on one leg you’re more likely to fall over and DIE! Apparently this lack of balance can be an indicator of early death. In a recent study researchers found middle-aged men that were able to stand on one leg and get in and out of chairs were more likely to be healthy and not about to keel over. Similarly women who could stand up, walk about, hop and moonwalk were found to be lower risk. It’s hoped doctors will be able to use these stats to predict ill-health earlier.hoped doctors will be able to use these stats to predict ill-health earlier. Them doctors eh? Aren’t they just great!

And finally, a judge has banned a man from every Garda station in the country as he tried to make a citizen’s arrest on a serving Sergeant. Keith Blackburn entered Lusk Garda station with the belief he had been granted special powers by the court and attempted to arrest the bemused Sergeant who was trying to kick him out. Blackburn then called 999 and demanded the guards immediately come and arrest the Sergeant before setting off the fire alarm. A judge found him guilty of breach of the peace and has stated he’s not to be annoying anymore guards or he’ll tell his mammy. Perhaps he was part of a government back to work scheme?

Well that’s about it for another week, NIB is off to the beach on a whim.

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