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News In Brief: Kimye Land As Gilmore Takes Off

Kimye indulge in a bit of shopping on Grafton Street (Image: sugarscape.com)

Kimye indulge in a bit of shopping on Grafton Street (Image: sugarscape.com)

 

First they were here, then they were gone. The nation mourns the departure of ‘Kimye’, newlyweds Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, as much as we’re mourning the resignation of Eamon Gilmore as Labour Leader. NIB will let you come to your own conclusions about how much that is.

It’s true Joan’s going for the leadership role now. Great news all round. Entertainment channel E! in America were quick to jump on the bandwagon asking if she really had been spotted leaving a cinema in Portlaoise? Turns out it wasn’t her but ‘Kimye’. In case you missed it this is of course making reference to the world media being fooled by photo-shopped images of the famous couple and tweets suggesting they were just after getting themselves some breakfast rolls. Unfortunately the news about Joan isn’t a joke. Sure it may as well be her as anyone else for all the difference it’ll make.

Peter Robinson’s made a bit of a mickey of himself. While he wouldn’t trust Muslims with terrorist sensibilities, he added in an interview: “Would I trust them to go down to the shops for me? Of course I would. Would I trust them to do a number of other lifetime normal day-to-day issues? There is no reason why you wouldn’t.” The man lives in Northern Ireland where they have their own issues with terrorist activity. NIB wouldn’t trust him to make a cup of tea.

There’s some positive employment news in Limerick. Advertised on the county’s Department of Social Protection website is an ad for a €9 an hour role as s ‘shift-operator’ at I-Kandi, Ireland’s leading Swingers club. Some people kicked up a fuss, stating it was inappropriate, but a job’s a job and there’s a recession on, in fact NIB knows someone who might be looking for a new direction, cough-Eamon Gilmore-cough.

Enda’s been taking some time off (it’s a hard life) dancing like a loon at the Bloom Festival and the lads from One Direction have been getting high, but not our little Niall, thanks be to God. Ryan Tubridy’s RTE2fm Miss Personality competition crowned a suitably svelt and beautiful winner, really bringing home the point that looks don’t matter.

There is literally no news this week. Nothing that’s funny anyway, hurry the f**k up lads let’s get silly season going or we’ll have to get ‘Kimye’ back.

 

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