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News In Brief: Leaving Cert, Dirt And Horse Hurt

Just a man, in his pants, rolling turf (Image: gardenplansireland.com)

Just a man, in his pants, rolling turf (Image: gardenplansireland.com)

A Donegal GAA team stopped their bus on the way home from a match this week, not because the lads needed to make use of nature’s services, but to help a man turn his turf in Galway. Despite having lost their match against a Donegal team, the junior semi-finalists were feeling charitable, with 30 of them as well as management and helpers hopping off the bus to lend a hand. Ahh lads as if you weren’t already the golden glow in Irish mammies hearts.

They may have offered the RTE lads a lift though! Turns out RTE staff have been told to ‘get the bus’ in an effort to slash the broadcaster’s spending. Apparently the news room is pretty peed off about it, as they’ll no longer be able to book taxis to take them to their “important meetings” (read as expense account lunches). Don’t expect to be moving over for Sharon Ni Bheolain though she only travels by unicorn and magic carpet.

Leaving Cert students have been tackling the tough questions in their exams this week, including a section on how to survive on the dole. The question asked the students to analyse shopping lists for four families on social welfare. Was this an effort to engage them in contemporary social issues? Critics asked, or just Joan Burton bursting their youthful dreamy bubbles? Answer, B: The bubble bursting thing. Has NIB passed?

According to reports a naked man has been wandering around the National War Memorial Gardens and Phoenix Park. Things have got tough for Eamon since he gave up labour Leadership! Jk. Lol. No, in all seriousness, as much as we all may be tempted to whip off the layers at the merest hint of sunshine James Reilly has warned we risk unnatural sunburn.

In world news, an Irish man was arrested in Australia after punching a horse. The man, who may or may not have partaken of the golden nectar, was said to be feeling deeply ashamed and couldn’t answer why, when questioned, he punched the horse. Especially as he comes from a country of horse lovers. Well, whatever floats your boat. Kanye West may also have taken one too many sups of the black stuff as personalised flyers have been sent to the Irish press in the wake of his honeymoon here last week. The postcards which appeared to advertise the musician’s new album and have hand written notes on the back have been denied by his PR people. If that doesn’t sound like morning-after shame NIB doesn’t know what does.

NIB won’t be here next week, we’re off on a secret mission to recover Eamonn’s trousers, so be good the lot of ye and we’ll be back soon!

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