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News in Brief: Quinn Jumps Before He’s Pushed

NIB's favourite artistes (image courtesy: planetjedward.net)

NIB’s favourite artistes (image courtesy: planetjedward.net)

In what can only be described as typical, Enda Kenny’s put his foot firmly into his mouth -this week he’s been calling Joan-people! People, he’s been calling people fat, according to Micheal Martin anyway. The Fianna Fail leader accused the Taoiseach of being fattist following questioning over the decision to suspend gastric band operations. In a bid to save money Enda suggested the waiting patients go for a jog instead and cut out the Supermacs: ‘prevention is better than cure’ to which Martin took offence. He reckons obese people are subject to ‘the last acceptable form of discrimination’, although conceded this couldn’t be applied to James Reilly.

In other political news Ruairi Quinn has been retired! Well jumped, before he was pushed, out of Leinster House. What does this mean for us?! NIB hears you all cry. Oh no sorry, you were wondering about your World Cup Office sweepstake now USA are out.

If, like NIB, you find 70s furniture building instructions more interesting than the World Cup you may consider taking a tour of an ESB power plant instead! To celebrate its fortieth birthday, eager ESB fans have been promised five nights of top class entertainment (as long as Dublin City Council don’t get involved). Near Glendalough, visitors get to walk down a 3km tunnel before viewing the Hydro Control Centre! If you can’t make it to the birthday celebrations you can arrange a private tour every Tuesday to Friday till September! Bollocks to Garth Brooks, NIB’s off to make reservations now.

In other brilliant news Dublin is finally getting a Wetherspoon’s, purveyors of the cheapest pints around and renowned amongst young scallies as being THE place to sink 18 pints before heading out for the craic. The only problem is, the Three Tun Tavern branch of Wetherspoon’s will be in Blackrock (an example of marketing vastly misjudging their clientele) and they won’t be serving any Guinness. Nope. Not a drop. First Diageo took Arthur’s Day from our booze soaked; shaky grasp and now they won’t let Wetherspoon’s sell cheap pints of the Black Stuff at the standard pint price of €3.35. This country’s gone to the dogs.

And finally, thank the lord, Jedward have been rescued from certain death by the Irish Coastguard this week. Taking a stroll together along the coast at Donabate (as NIB often likes to imagine them) the pair became hemmed in by rising tides on a sandbank near Malahide. Luckily enough for the Grimes’ disaster was averted when the coastguard was scrambled (Damien Dempsey was unavailable) and managed to rescue them before the Waterline (!) rose too high. Only Jedward.

Another week down, only an onerous, eternal stretch ahead. And it’s nearly Monday again . . .

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