News In Brief: Stage The Concert For Br**ks Sake

Putin's reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image:

Putin’s reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image:

It hasn’t been a great week for Ireland, what with, you know “the thing” but we’re not talking about that. Not a word. Thank God for NIB your Garth free news source- bugger.

Anyway, up North where residents are busy preparing for the 12th (i.e. locking the doors and turning up the telly) a Christian bakery has been upsetting people almost as much as, ahem, B****s. Ashers bakery came under fire for refusing to make a cake featuring popular Sesame Street stars Bert and Ernie with a slogan for a gay rights campaign group. They must really hate Sesame Street.

Talking of mad yokes, Father Padraig O’Baoill from Donegal has warned his parishioners against taking yoga classes that he thinks will put their souls ‘in jeopardy’. Apparently, because the practice comes from old Indian holy texts it is fundamentally against Christian beliefs. Right. Father O’Baoill is apparently away to Lourdes at present his Bishop was also “away” and wouldn’t comment. Is it just NIB or does the Church really need to take a good, long look at its priorities?

A 50-year-old woman has been arrested for apparently dealing cocaine in a bingo hall – ‘Two white lines, they’re all mine! The woman, from Cork, has been granted bail by the judge, as long as she stays away from the bingo. Who knew these mammy-haunts were such dens of iniquity? Makes yoga look tame.

Niall Horan’s brother is releasing limited edition gold coins with his son’s head on to mark his first birthday. If that sentence didn’t make you start weeping NIB knows there’s something wrong with you, or you were already weeping. The coins will only be available online for 19.50 with the promise some of them will be hand-delivered by a Horan who will @spend time at your home’. If that doesn’t sound creepy, then . . . The fans are going for it though, not realising it’ll most likely be diamond-jumper wearing Uncle Gerard. Get the kettle on.

NIB recently reported on the Dunnes Stores bags ending up in Moscow, looks like the Russian’s could soon get their hands on a job lot of G**** B -merch after Dunnes  stocked up before those concerts were cancelled. (All right we tried not to mention it, but it’s pretty fecking hard!). Could we soon see Vladimir in one of their ‘Keep calm and line dance’ T-shirts, that or there are going to be an awful lot of cowboys around at Halloween.

Anyway NIB is off to bury our head in a hole following the cabinet re-shuffle: Varadkar for health and Reilly for Foreign affairs? God help us all. Good luck.

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