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News in Brief: Pee, Plinths And ‘Prayery Bikers’

Prayery Bikers (image channel4.com)

Prayery Bikers (image channel4.com)

NIB may have ruined the weather for everyone after complaining it was too hot, it seems to have turned straight into Autumn, we’re not going to lie we’re considering putting the fire on.

But in other news, Cork’s footballers are in hot water after relieving water at the side of the pitch. It seems before their All-Ireland quarter-final defeat to Mayo in Croke Park, Corkian Fintan Goold got a bit nervous and just had to go for a tinkle. Fans and the Competitions Control Committee didn’t want to see his winkle though and he could now face a €300 ban. Many took to social media with one tweeting: ‘What about Fintan Goold flopping out the langer in the middle of Croke park and straining the spuds’, NIB couldn’t have put it better and anyway, if you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. Stadium full of thousands of spectators or not, he’s just a man!

The HSE have been forced to deny having their own langers out after a publicly available training website was misused (what else would you do with it, we’re just the public!). The test website, which allowed, presumably, potential practitioners to practise inputting patient details had some very interesting entries amongst the more mundane; James Training, Test Test, Dan Ryan, Master Bator, Thomas Nevin. Wait what was that one? Test Test?! Truly shocking. The HSE has claimed though they have no evidence to suggest staff have been putting in these joke names. The website has now been taken off-line.

Twitter found a new star when the Dail Plinth started tweeting earlier in the year, though now the TDs and Senators are in Monaco, it’s been pretty quiet, until this week when it appeared to begin a promising relationship with Fine Gael TD Mary Mitchell O’Connor. The TD started the flirt fest by asking if the plinth missed her before assuring Plinth she felt the same with two love hearts! NIB is hoping Plinth’s stone heart may soon be melted, and if nuptials are on the cars perhaps they could play Journey’s Stone in Love at the ceremony. Or perhaps Mary would prefer I Love ROCK ‘n’ Roll?

Two ‘Holy Bikers’ are taking the good news to the people, via the M50. The ‘Prayery Bikers’ (gettit? Sounds like Hairy Bikers, them big lads of the telly) are going round all 30 Church of Ireland cathedrals to raise money for charity wearing ‘Hells Angels’ leathers with ‘Jesus Forever’ on the back. If Graham Linehan and Arthur Matthews did ever consider another episode of Father Ted surely this would be it?

What more could you want from a week’s news? Pee, pranks, plinths and ‘Prayery Bikers’, well done everybody.

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