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News In Brief: Enda Tweets, Cows Petition EU And Clocks Go Back

`what...am...i...doing...pick up the eggs Eoin` Enda's getting to grips with social media to spread his message (image:thejournal.ie)

(image:thejournal.ie)

Another week in news and first up, (AND most exciting!), Enda’s on the old tweeting machine again, he must have been jealous of all the attention that toilet in Cork was getting. You’ve all forgotten about the tweeting toilet already haven’t you? You fickle bastards you haven’t forgotten about Jedward!

Anyway, yes an Taoiseach had something to say to his followers; `Twitter, it’s been a while… but it’s time to talk about the #littlethings`. Hmmm interesting, well not really, but what does it mean? Some thought he was divulging his love of One Direction while others speculated he meant something a little, ahem, more personal, if you get our drift. Down below like… Ugh. Most people just didn’t notice though, still with the long weekend coming up here’s hoping Enda has a few jars tonight and does some drunk tweeting –NO mickey pics Enda!

Enda’s not the only one that’s gas, apparently Irish cows are emitting so much of the stuff we are having to lobby for higher allowances in our climate change targets. Ministers have asked that the EU group involved of tracking emissions give more leniency to Ireland seeing as we have so many cows (who make up a `disproportionate’ amount of our greenhouse gasses) and agriculture is a massive part of our culture.

Gas emissions aren’t going to be helped by the turbo tractor for sale on DoneDeal; a 1967 Massey Ferguson 135 Turbo Extreme which has been improved(?) by tinted windows, side engine covers and an exaggerated and `pointlessly loud`exhaust. It can even accelerate from zero to 25km in `no time at all`, however the advertiser warns; `no dreamers or townies` need apply. You can see the full ad here if you’re interested.

Don’t forget the clocks go back this weekend! Old Alan Shatter `Minister for Time`was famed for tweeting about it, giving us such gems as telling the public via a press release to put their `sensitive equipment and gizmos` back, then there was the time he reminded us all a new series of Dr Who was starting when the clocks were going forward last year. It’s probably the only thing we miss about him, especially as now his replacement, Ms Frances Fitzgerald has only come out with; `The Minister for Justice and Equality Ms. Frances Fitzgerald, T.D., would like to remind the general public that “Winter Time” will commence at 1:00 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time on Sunday 26 October, 2014. Clocks and watches should be put back one hour at that time.Winter time will end at 1:00 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time on Sunday 29 March, 2015.` Yawn. Think we’ll just sleep through to be honest.

And finally, did anybody see the poster for an Alzheimer Society fundraiser in Kildare? Brilliant it was, pure class, and it was called; `A Night to Remember`. Sick, sick, bastards.

See ya later, we’re off down to Wexford for the craic!

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