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News in Brief: Scare For Bulmers And A Treat For Trees

Hug a tree this Halloween (image: community.pearljam.com)

Hug a tree this Halloween (image: community.pearljam.com)

 

Are you a fern fan or a pine nut? That’s the question we’ve all been asking this week as the nation’s most ‘loveable’ tree was put to a vote. The National Tree Huggers 2014 contest which aims to crown one of Ireland’s greatest growths and spread awareness about environmental issues closes at midnight tonight so if you want to get in on the action you better get clicking. So far an 81-year-old tree hugger is in the lead, despite not owning a computer or having access to the internet, he’s been petitioning people in the streets, and it’s obviously worked. Maybe Enda might want to try dressing up as an Oak.

A satirical article been doing the rounds this week (NIB wouldn’t know anything about those) as the story of a Mayo postman caused concern. The pinnacle of Irish press that is The Mayo Globe published a piece on a Castlebar postie who was reportedly wandering into people’s homes, eating their food and demanding they let him watch Jeremy Kyle. While some of the more quick-witted amongst us got that it was a joke there was a lot of distress in the comments. One questioned whether he was mentally well while another called for his immediate dismissal. Another in Carnhill got to the big issue though ‘Sure as long as he doesn’t use their water I can’t see what the whole fuss is about’.

As it is Halloween weekend it’s probably quite likely we’ll be getting pissed this weekend, horror, hangovers, they just go together. So in suitably drink related news the Government is trying to shift a load of vino, but nobody wants it. Apparently the Department of Foreign Affairs has a whole wine cellar (NIB can’t even. We. Can’t. Even) and it’s trying desperately to sell it. In 2013 Eamon Gilmore announced the DFA had stopped buying expensive wine (probably because they already had 2,343 bottles downstairs. They have received some offers but say these were ‘risible’. Ha! They might want to hold onto it for washing their hands, probably be cheaper.

And it’s not over yet. The company behind Bulmers is planning on buying a chain of English pubs as not enough people are drinking cider! That’s something NIB can help with right-hic-now. According to reports the company’s profits have fallen by 2.7% over all, 12.4% in England and Wales. It seems the C&C group instead want to cut out the middle man and start serving cider directly through their own pubs. In a somewhat controversial step there are further plans to extend their outlets to Junior schools and hospitals in a desperate attempt to up sales.

That’s it for this week, enjoy your weekend, if you’re drinking make sure it’s Bulmers then give a tree a hug.

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