News In Brief: Benjy The Gay Bull’s Saved By Simpsons Creator

Irish post codes aren't allowed to be rude. What's the point? (image:

Irish post codes aren’t allowed to be rude. What’s the point? (image:

An Post have missed a trick with the new postcodes set to come in, apparently FECK won’t be eligible! Not even F1CK will be used. Apparently Eircode (imaginative name their lads) have been tasked with removing 90,000 possible offensive combinations for postcodes; including rude words or real names. In order to carry out this high-tech process the team bought online Scrabble and looked at all the three and four letter words. According to Liam Duggan of Capita Ireland who are behind it all, employees who performed the visual tests found some “unexpected things” like the fact two V’s next to each other look like a W. Jaysus who knevv?!

Benjy the big gay bull has been saved! Hurrah! In a shocking twist to the tale he was actually bought by the terminally ill co-creator of the Simpsons Sam Simon. The bajillionaire animal rights activist and comic cartoon creator was so upset by Benjy’s plight he has rescued him from betwixt two burger buns. It’s hard being a gay bull in Mayo so Benjy is now set to be moved to a sanctuary to live out his (hopefully) long gay life in peace.

25 inmates were locked out of a Limerick Jail this week in a typically ‘only in Ireland’ story. Five prison vans returning from court sittings returned to the prison to find they were locked out by angry prison officers, with a taste for a life of crime rather than punishment. The officers were protesting having to work twenty extra minutes (though NIB isn’t sure they’ve actually got their job right – to keep the prisoners in yeah?) at the end of their shifts so instead decided their inmates could run free. Sam Simon is reportedly setting up a fund to move these newly freed inmates to a sanctuary where they can live out their long gang-land lives in peace.

That’s about it for this week unless you want NIB to start ranting on about water charges? Or how the Government is a bunch of crooked bastards? And Bono. No? …. Really? FINE! We know it’s been a short one but consider it an antidote to the rest of the muck flying around, anyway NIB’s got to head out we’re celebrating Benjy’s birthday, (insert gay bovine puns aplenty)! Until next time …

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