News In Brief: Healy-Rae’s Cross And Gerry’s Not Happy Either

Mmmm Michael-Healy-Rae (image:

Mmmm Michael-Healy-Rae (image:

This, was the week Gerry Adams used the word “bastards” and everyone went mental but he wasn’t the only one letting his mouth work before his brain had had a chance to turn on.

Gregory Campbell a DUP politician and “b**tard” really went to town when he decided to lay into the Irish Language, poor defenceless little thing that it is. “Curry my yoghurt can coca coalyer” he told the Northern Assembly, taking the piss out of the Irish phrase: “Go raibh maith agat, Ceann Comhairle” meaning “Thank you, Chairperson”. He couldn’t see the big deal though and also said any proposed Irish Language Act would be treated, by himself, as toilet paper. Charming. Anyone that didn’t get the joke he said, needed a humour bypass. NIB doesn’t know, maybe he thought he was saying something else entirely, like; A man walked into a bar …. Or maybe he was just pissed, you’d need a drink to face the Northern Assembly.

In other political news, Leo Varadkar, has been voted the most kissable Irish politician – excuse NIB while we throw up – Mary-Lou came in a close second. The survey was carried out by TV3 for absolutely no feasible reason, apparently it was part of a campaign called Kiss4Crumlin, what this is NIB can’t be bothered right now to look up. Sorry. Unsurprisingly Bertie and Enda were bringing up the rear but least kissable of all was the one and only Michael Noonan. Hmm NIB’s not sure, imagine him keeping you warm at night, in a onesie, dribbling chocolate mousse . . . Woah.

One politician NIB would kiss is Michael Healy-Rae. This week he has criticised those who cut down the Carrauntoohil Cross calling them “some sort of anti-Christ”, never one for hyperbole Michael. The cross has stood on top of Ireland’s highest mountain since 1976 but was felled this week and a commemorative plaque stolen. Why, who know? But perhaps it was an act of God himself, bored and fed up of everyone talking about the Late Late Toy Show.

Talking of Toy Shows, Brian McFadden did one for TV3 last week! It went relatively well apart from a discussion around cross-dressing Action Man toys, but we’ll just skip over that. Brian was so chuffed with himself in fact he sent his bill to the entire TV3 newsroom instead of accounts payable. €5000 he asked for, for the 90 minute show. He didn’t even earn that much when he was in Westlife (collective sign of recognition – or not). What a plonker. Tubridy would never make such a school boy error, especially as his multi-million pay cheque would cause outrage.

That’s it for another week of Irish news, NIB’s off to get the Christmas decorations up!


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