News In Brief: Criminal Does A Runner As Gardai Takeaway

Abrakebabra or Macaris? You decide! (image:

Abrakebabra or Macaris? You decide! (image:

Up first in our brief news this week a classic crime story that could only happen on our fair Isle. A dangerous criminal escaped from Garda custody as the lads in blue pulled their van over at a chipper. Sure you can’t fight crime when you’re starving! The public have been warned not to approach the criminal who is potentially dangerous, while the Gardai released a statement saying they preferred Abrakebabra to Macari’s.

Google have released the results of top searched for items in Ireland this year. It included such news stalwarts as the World Cup and Garthgate as well as the Greyhound recycling debacle. Amongst the predictable searches was Kim Kardashian’s arse and the death of Robin Williams but the real state of the nation was demonstrated in our second most popular googled question? How to… shift. What a romantic bunch we are.

Regardless of this though, in other techy news, apparently one in six Irish people have NEVER used the internet! How can they read NIB?! While most of us spend our lives online 16% of the Irish population have never even been on Facebook. Honest to God! NIB blames NAMA and Bono (we haven’t in a while) for the shtate of the place. In fact we’re thinking about a charity single `Feed the World, let them know it’s NIB time`?.

Police in New Zealand have had to apologise after wrongfully claiming a mad man driving a car down the road with a kayak attached to the roof sideways was Irish. Apparently they made the assumption after pulling over a tourist on a state highway; ‘the Irish tourist’s actions were beyond belief’. Until the man in question came forward as Jonathan Waters, from … New Zealand. He claimed the kayak had become loose in high winds and he was in fact pulling over to fix the situation when the cops showed up (on their way to Macari’s). The officer that spoke to Mr Waters said a ticket was not issued because he had a foreign accent and she didn’t think of checking his documents.

That’s enough for this week, it’s been a long one and we haven’t even started our Christmas shopping… Good luck.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: