Recently I had the pleasure of attending a meet-up for divorced and separated people held at a new hip bar “Goldberg’s” in Cork. The meet-up is run by the “effervescent” Jan O’Connor. Jan has been separated for a couple of years and having tried a few online dating sites she came to the same conclusion many divorced and separated people do- these sites are often expensive, cold and impersonal!
Having done her research Jan happened upon the idea of creating a meet-up that would cater specifically to the needs of divorced & separated singles rather than singles in general.
Feeling a bit disingenuous as I am married I decided to have Jan tell the group why I was there. Admittedly, I felt odd at first as I pondered the many stories that led to the breakup of each marriage/ partnership. However, I soon realised this could be me or anyone for that matter! As the evening progressed I met an array of interesting, vibrant people (mainly women). The group is actively encouraging more men to attend but so far the male response has been slow to build. I guess for men it’s somewhat easier to transition from marital status to “single again” status as it is not unusual to see a single guy on his own in a bar having a drink no matter what age. The same however cannot be said for women. After several conversations it occurred to me that “single again”women regardless of finances, education or profession often find themselves bereft of friends to socialise with. This however doesn’t mean that men don’t feel the loss of friendship and companionship marriage provides, it’s just that they don’t seem to face the same social stigma whilst flying solo. Continue reading