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Posts Tagged ‘ Alcohol ’

News In Brief: Gay Cows, Water Rows And One Man’s Giant Marrow

Benjy the 'gay' bull faces the burger. (image: flamencoexport.com)

Benjy the ‘gay’ bull faces the burger. (image: flamencoexport.com)

According to South Korea NIB is too drunk to do their job properly this week, because of Ireland’s “alcoholism nature” but we’ll try our best.

You must have seen this story by now, a young teacher was refused a job in South Korea on the grounds the Irish are a bunch of drunks. Sure you wouldn’t want to work over there anyway they’re a fierce dry bunch of lads.

Remember, remember Thursday’s in November. According to the Injuries Board (great bunch of lads unlike some!) it’s the fourth day of the week in November that most workplace accidents occur, more than any other time of the year. Apparently the average award for a workplace accident increased from €27,286 in 2012 to €28,886 last year. But, their study also shows men get paid more in compensation than women! Although in an act of karma, men are twice as likely to get injured, ha, probably too busy waving their mickeys about. Men, pah!

Talking of the un-fairer sex, Benjy, a Mayo bull, is facing the slaughterhouse because apparently he’s gay. Well done Ireland, round of applause. Apparently the farmer who is remaining anonymous told the Irish Daily Mail he is ‘resigned’ to the animal’s sexuality. He bought him last year having been tested; “everything was normal” until he discovered none of his cows were preggers. He thought he may have been a “discreet chappie” who didn’t want to do his thing, but then started chasing his man friends around. Poor Benjy, he’s off to make some nice burgers though, nice and pink in the middle. Continue reading

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Comparing Global Beer Prices

beerinfo2

I drink beer to supplement my bones with vitamin D and prevent bone degeneration. Saying that makes me feel I’m making a healthy lifestyle choice every time I pop a bottle. I could be, at least according to the International Journal of Endocrinology that had published a study on the health promise of beer (you can also check our previous infographic that matched beer against wine for health benefits).

But here’s the better news—beer can be dirt cheap in some corners of the planet. If you’re traveling and you enjoy a couple bottles of beer (and some more) after a day’s tour, our infographic will help you find the country where you can get really cheap “vitamin D shots”.

It doesn’t matter if you’re going to Central/Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia; both regions can get you drunk really cheap. Vietnam and Ukraine are the hands-down winners with beer at fifty nine cents per bottle. Other beer-friendly countries include: Cambodia, Czech Republic, China, Serbia, and Panama. Continue reading

The Definition Of Friendship

sailingclub

A friend of mine, a few years back, told me he could only regard somebody as a friend after knowing them for ten-years (Can call him a friend, not because I know him for ten-years, but because this correspondent can tell him he is talking b*ll*x).

Your correspondent was reminded of his friend’s saying recently after reading about an incident involving an eighty-two year old, retired naval captain called John Caughey and his club (the Emsworth Sailing Club in Hampshire, England).

It was reported by people who knew John, that he had been having a stressful time preparing to move house. They claim the move had made him anxious, unhappy and was driving him up the wall. As a way of releasing this stress John got into his Volvo one morning and drove his car into the club’s wall. Witnesses claim he then got out of the wreckage, poured petrol over it and set it alight. It was estimated that John did £100,000 worth of damage to the club, destroying 30% of the building. Continue reading

Conscience Pricking

Philippe Lafforgue

Be wary dear readers, of not hurting someone’s feelings. Painful consequences (both emotional & physical) can ensue from such sympathetic intentions.

This correspondent read of a French restaurateur, Philippe Lafforgue who found this out to his cost recently while trying not to offend the cultural sensitivities of the Muslim population of Islamabad.

Philippe had established a restaurant ‘La Maison’ on the ground floor of his home in an affluent suburb of Islamabad, Pakistan, last year where he offered authentic French cooked cuisine. Continue reading

News in Brief – Hacked Off Brendan Drops A Howler

leprechaun

‘Has there been bugging? What’s bugging? Am I a bug?’ Minister Brendan Howlin asked assembled journalists in relation to Garda Ombudsman ’eaves-dropping’ to put it nicely, or phone-hacking. It seems Brendan was at a loss as to what exactly had happened inside the offices of the Garda Ombudsman or where in fact he was.

Where are you? Abroad? Australia or Canada, the promised lands? Well if ye are, ye need to learn to speak proper. According to RTE journalist and voice of the Luas (!) Doireann Ni Bhriain mispronouncing certain words could get you in trouble, when trying to settle abroad. Instead of tay you must say tea, three instead of tree and diddly-ie diddly-ie diddly-ie dee ever time you enter a room, just so everyone knows where you’re from. Continue reading

News in Brief-Brooks Mania Grows As BBC Makes Unfortunate Error

bbc

NIB has been away swimming through Cork (you may have seen us on the news), hope no one was too distraught, anyway we’re back now, stop crying.

Seems while we were gone the Neknomination craze took off with dire consequences. The latest story following the Facebook phenomenon has seen an Irish girl in Australia swallow a goldfish in her “neknominated” pint. NIB hoped it was the classic carved carrot joke but sadly not. The girl, a trainee solicitor no less, from Newry has since received death threats and online abuse, to which she replied, celebs do it on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here (How did she get through the entry exams?) and, you know, she get’s it yeah? Writing on her Twitter “feel depressed.” To what extent can humans become more ridiculous? Continue reading

It Could Be You

lotto

The advertisements say, ‘it could be you’, and it could be, but it’s highly unlikely. It’s 8,145,060 to 1, to be exact to come up with the winning combination of numbers. But what is the National Lottery doing to our society? After the weather it’s probably the most talked about subject in silence filling conversation. The advertisements are becoming more and more frequent. They appear to be targeting a younger market and playing the lottery is now available seven days a week. Continue reading

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