Posts Tagged ‘ Bono ’

News In Brief: Criminal Does A Runner As Gardai Takeaway

Abrakebabra or Macaris? You decide! (image: soundtrackcollector.com)

Abrakebabra or Macaris? You decide! (image: soundtrackcollector.com)

Up first in our brief news this week a classic crime story that could only happen on our fair Isle. A dangerous criminal escaped from Garda custody as the lads in blue pulled their van over at a chipper. Sure you can’t fight crime when you’re starving! The public have been warned not to approach the criminal who is potentially dangerous, while the Gardai released a statement saying they preferred Abrakebabra to Macari’s.

Google have released the results of top searched for items in Ireland this year. It included such news stalwarts as the World Cup and Garthgate as well as the Greyhound recycling debacle. Amongst the predictable searches was Kim Kardashian’s arse and the death of Robin Williams but the real state of the nation was demonstrated in our second most popular googled question? How to… shift. What a romantic bunch we are. Continue reading

News In Brief: Benjy The Gay Bull’s Saved By Simpsons Creator

Irish post codes aren't allowed to be rude. What's the point? (image: Irishcentral.com)

Irish post codes aren’t allowed to be rude. What’s the point? (image: Irishcentral.com)

An Post have missed a trick with the new postcodes set to come in, apparently FECK won’t be eligible! Not even F1CK will be used. Apparently Eircode (imaginative name their lads) have been tasked with removing 90,000 possible offensive combinations for postcodes; including rude words or real names. In order to carry out this high-tech process the team bought online Scrabble and looked at all the three and four letter words. According to Liam Duggan of Capita Ireland who are behind it all, employees who performed the visual tests found some “unexpected things” like the fact two V’s next to each other look like a W. Jaysus who knevv?! Continue reading

News In Brief: Danger Looms As Loo’s Demolished

The loom band disease spreads fast from extremities to internal organs! (image: pinterest.com)

The loom band disease spreads fast from extremities to internal organs! (image: pinterest.com)

Step away from the loom bands! They will KILL you. Danger is looming! Turns out the popular little rubber bands that everyone is spending hours tying in knots could actually be highly cancerous. Well not the actual bands, NIB doesn’t want to scaremonger, but the little charms you can add to your creations. They’ve been found to have excessive levels of carcinogens causing global panic. Or a small media panic. With each great craze comes a great fall, remember when Tamogotchis got smart and started taking over the world and the Americans had to be called in?

In other news it’s been Leaving Cert results week and in true Irish fashion a pub has been blacklisted for offering shots to students at 10.30am. The Bishopstown Bar in Cork, had to apologise after tweeting; ‘Best of luck to all getting results. Remember we serve alcohol from 10.30am’ proving just how important it is to pass your exams so you don’t end up running a pub that opens after Jeremy Kyle every morning. Continue reading

More Than Just A Melody

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Reblogged from I’m Talkin’ Here

I’ve always loved music. Listening, singing, playing; it’s always been there. We listen to music for a multitude of reasons. To sing, to dance, to pick us up and even sometimes to bring us down. It stirs emotion, to those who allow it; above and beyond things we’ve ever previously experienced. Continue reading

News In Brief – No Make Up Selfie Mix Up Saves Polar Bears

dougalThere have been some great news stories this week. Too much in fact for NIB, it’s meant to be brief!

To kick us off a man in Cavan has been banned from painting roads for two years. Martin Hannigan, an ‘anti-pothole’ campaigner, has been threatened with a prison sentence if he continues to paint warning signs around potholes on his county’s roads. Ironically he has also been fined for damaging the public highway, the very highway he wants to save! He needs Bono. Continue reading

News In Brief: Baby Horan’s A Hit While Gerry Adams Gets Trolled

putin

The Pope is becoming a regular feature in NIB these days, more so than that Bono fella. And this week is no exception you will all be glad to know. In a ceremony to mark the first anniversary of the Pope’s inauguration Archbishop of Dublin Diarmuid Martin told the congregation the Pope isn’t popular because of any polished public image, he’s not an attention seeking superstar and he most definitely isn’t interested in ‘Christians with sour faces’ eradicating the majority of the Irish Church. He’s just a bloke! Though with history’s greatest PR man behind him.

NIB thought we were on to a good story when we saw Vladimir had called on Garda Commissioner Callinan to withdraw his ‘disgusting’ remark about police whistle-blowers, until we realised it wasn’t the leader of Russia, Vladimir Putin, making the call but our own transport minister Leo Varadkar. Disappointment doesn’t cover it, imagine that, Callinan would have withdrawn his comments, apologised profusely and baked cake for everyone if it had been Putin. Continue reading

News in Brief – Irish Spring Break Is Upon Us

Enda-Kenny

A man has been handed down a suspended sentence after telling Gardai to “shut the f*** up”. The man, who has previous convictions and is a recovering heroin addict apparently, became enraged when his partner didn’t win a community award: Tallaght Person of the Year. After a public row he snatched her handbag and stalked off only to be picked up by Gardai. Sure we’d all be raging if we didn’t win Tallaght Person of the Year.

He should give auld Enda a call. The Taoiseach is in Washington singing the Wild Rover with Mr O’Mahoneybama and has told a press conference if people have a problem with the way he’s doing things they can give him a ring. His number is public after all. This has given NIB an idea. Continue reading