Posts Tagged ‘ brian mcfadden ’

News In Brief: Healy-Rae’s Cross And Gerry’s Not Happy Either

Mmmm Michael-Healy-Rae (image:

Mmmm Michael-Healy-Rae (image:

This, was the week Gerry Adams used the word “bastards” and everyone went mental but he wasn’t the only one letting his mouth work before his brain had had a chance to turn on.

Gregory Campbell a DUP politician and “b**tard” really went to town when he decided to lay into the Irish Language, poor defenceless little thing that it is. “Curry my yoghurt can coca coalyer” he told the Northern Assembly, taking the piss out of the Irish phrase: “Go raibh maith agat, Ceann Comhairle” meaning “Thank you, Chairperson”. He couldn’t see the big deal though and also said any proposed Irish Language Act would be treated, by himself, as toilet paper. Charming. Anyone that didn’t get the joke he said, needed a humour bypass. NIB doesn’t know, maybe he thought he was saying something else entirely, like; A man walked into a bar …. Or maybe he was just pissed, you’d need a drink to face the Northern Assembly. Continue reading

News in Brief – Mourners Upset As Travellers Brawl At Cemetery

fightIt’s that time again, for our weekly round-up of all the mad crap that goes on in this country.

Without wanting to upset anyone NIB starts with some terrible, terrible news. Louis Walsh is going to leave the X Factor. Noooooooooo. Anyway on with this week’s news. Continue reading

News in Brief-Irish Vegan Joins Elite As Ryanair Draw Ire Of McFadden

The proposed headquarters for Anglo Irish Bank, sold to the Central Bank in 2012, standing in Dublin’s North Quay has been vandalised. Despite having CCTV and security arrangements in place the shell of a building was daubed with anti-semitic slurs. The aptly named, At Risk Security monitor the land directly behind the site. There now considering a name change to We’ve Got a Great Big Dog So Feck Off Security.

Leinster House have been learning the rules of soccer after a visit from Irish team manager Giovanni Trapattoni to the Oireachtas Republic of Ireland Supporters’ Club. The newly formed club currently boasts 63 TD’s and senators who were all keen to learn from the Italian manager. Club secretary Senator John Gilroy said: “We had a chat about where the game is,” – usually on a pitch – “and what we can do as Oireachtas members to encourage the game.” Over-priced kits and generic memorabilia are traditional. Ah no, good luck to the lads in ROISC sure what else have they got to do? Continue reading

News in Brief-Enda Raids Jelly Bean Factory While Ronan Hits A New Low

And so it seems the residents of Clacton-on-Sea in Essex were right to be mortally afraid of a house cat. New reports have shown one thousand people a day in the UK, 350,000 a year, contract a parasitic disease carried by your average moggy. Although in healthy humans the parasite shouldn’t cause too many problems it can bring on the flu and in pregnant women or immunosuppressive patient’s it can be more serious, even being attributed to triggering schizophrenia and obsessive compulsive disorder. However, you only get it from ingesting cat feces so unless you have an interesting taste in after dinner treats I wouldn’t kick the cat out just yet.

Enda has praised Minister for Health James Reilly for reversing health cuts despite the Dáil preparing to put through a vote of no confidence. On admitting his mistake Kenny said of Reilly, “The Minister had the courage to do that and do it quickly”. This makes me wonder what we couldn’t all reverse and get away with as long as we’re quick about it.
Perhaps we could also reverse the Jelly Bean Factory’s decision to create chocolate covered beans.  It just seems wrong. It has though created twenty-five new jobs at the factory in Blanchardstown. The company has been an Irish success story and expects 50% growth over the next two years with the Belgian chocolate covered beans ready for Christmas. Enda Kenny, cropped up there too, to launch the factory’s extension and no doubt fill his pockets with free beans. What a Willy Wonka.
The Irish Fishermen’s Organisation have a bone to pick with the Department of Justice after having to ask to ensure skeletal remains found in the sea off the south coast of the country are sent for DNA identification. If found in a politician’s closet, some may understand the desire to keep things hushed up but the ‘budgetary constraints’ that have so far prevented the testing of the remains make for a pretty poor excuse. The skull and two femur bones were found along the Waterford and Wexford coast lines and could be any one of the nine fishermen that have been lost at sea in recent years.
Ronan Keating may wish he were at sea this week or on a desert island with just the one disc, his own. That would bring the total sales of his new album to 182.
Brian McFadden on the other hand is catapulting himself back into the public eye. The former Westlife singer, more famously formerly married to Kerry Katona is to release a new song he hopes to a be a hit. The track will feature as part of new RTE show The Hit in which he will compete with Royseven frontman Paul Walsh for the biggest charting song.
If the mundanity of modern celebrity culture disturbs you don’t fear. The old ways aren’t dead yet. A seventeen year old boy who used a can of pepper spray in the mugging of a Brazilian man has been asked to write a letter of apology to his victim. Hurrah for pen and paper! Who said snail mail was dead? The humble tradition of written letters lives on.
The man, in his twenties, was attacked with the spray before having his wallet taken. He has since moved from the area of the assault in Dublin as he no longer feels safe. Ah. Anyone got a forwarding address? Maybe they’re friends on Facebook? Or he could just tweet him instead.

News in Brief-United We Stand,Divided We Fall

This week we (well, not me) waved goodbye to Westlife. The fab four retired from the limelight with a farewell concert at Croke Park supported by our favourite twins who perhaps for one week should remain nameless. Never before have four men hopped off stools so diligently (and so many times), whilst the two blonde ones didn’t miss a background note and the brunettes sang someone else’s song.

As well as the eighty thousand fans that filled the stadium the concert was also broadcast across cinemas in Ireland and the UK which is presumably where old member, Brian McFatOne, sorry, McFadden, watched stoically, tears lining his cheeks. He taught them that stool move and not one of them said thank you . . .
It looks like detention for Shane Filan though who will continue to be managed by Louis Walsh as he launches his solo career as the ‘male Adele’ in a bid to reverse his bankruptcy.
Many Ulster Bank customers have faced their own financial difficulties over the last two weeks after a ‘technical fault’ at the bank left many payments unprocessed and some accounts empty. Today, Ulster Bank staff are still trying to clear the backlog of unprocessed transactions, now extending their prediction of resumed normal service to the beginning of next week. It’s a good job we’re used to not relying on our banks anymore otherwise this newest failure on their part may have come as a surprise.
Talking of Jimmy Carr’s unprocessed tax transactions – we were weren’t we? – the controversy has sparked debate on this side of the water as well. Whilst we know certain superstars of our own *cough-Bono-cough* have made use of off-shore, legal, tax reduction measures it is unlikely they will face a barrage like Carr as the Irish economy relies in part on the income of the `legitimate tax avoidance measures` we offer global companies such as Facebook, Google and Apple .
 . . So moving swiftly on.
Two newly weds in Cork had trouble with a gatecrasher at their wedding, at the Castlemartyr Resort where Bill Clinton also happened to be staying. Mr Howard, who is from Killavullen in north Cork and Ms Seamans, from Minneapolis in the US, where both more than happy to squeeze the former President into a wedding snap. Now that’s one for Facebook.
Another couple who may soon be updating their statuses are the Queen and Sinn Féin MLA Martin McGuinness who cemented their friendship this week with a lovely, long handshake.
There’s no love lost between the Queen and Martin McGuinness, his former affiliates blew up her cousin, she’s the Queen. That’s just how it is. Or was. But after Wednesday, when they met in matching colours and shook hands not once, but twice for the assembled press it seems Anglo-Irish relations may be on the up. Or not. McGuinness was quick to reassure, ‘I’m still a Republican.’ Maybe it’s still more ‘complicated’ than ‘in a relationship’.