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Posts Tagged ‘ Car ’

News In Brief: How Not To Be A Sinful Santa

Bah humbug Bus Eireann! (image: globalcool.org)

Bah humbug Bus Eireann! (image: globalcool.org)

Sometimes you can’t make the news up, rather you can’t make the people who make the news up. NIB is thinking specifically here of the author who might remain nameless (NIB could change their mind) of The Kilkenny Journal. Their lead story this week: ‘Paedophiles set to pose as gays to marry and adopt kids’. At first NIB thought it was a joke, then we wished it was. According to the splash, predatory paedophiles are already flocking to Ireland in preparation for the gay marriage bill that will be going through the Dail in the spring. Once married they will use their status as happily married couples to adopt and then abuse children. NIB repeats, this is not a joke, this has actually been published online under the guise of actual factual reporting. Listen lads, it’s time to turn off the internet. We obviously can’t have nice things if this is how we behave. Continue reading

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News in Brief – We Need To Talk About Alan

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Hold the phone, it’s hot outside! Well, NIB doesn’t know where you are but it’s hot here! Hurrah!

Despite that though we need to talk about Alan.

Despite being sacked (resigned, whatever?!) Shatter still seems to be up to something scheduling secret meetings with Enda. Sinn Fein have kicked off about it because they weren’t invited to what was bound to be a jelly and ice-cream event, but the Taoiseach’s office has stated it was simply a misunderstanding and no meetings actually took place. Neither Shatter nor Kenny was available to comment as both were busy naked jelly wrestling. Continue reading

News in Brief-Ireland Goes Blaa Blaa As Michael D Set To Visit Lizzy

blaa

Blaa, Blaa, Blaa, only in Waterford! That’s right, the floury nap has been given protected status so that the name Blaa can only be applied if the bread is made in the South East. They join Champagne, Cornish Pasties and Feta Cheese after a group of Waterford bakers united to prevent imitators.

A nun has had her claim for damages of €38,000 after a car accident quashed as the judge ruled the accident never happened. Sister Helen Ugbome, of the Nigeria-based Holy Family Sisters told the court she was hit in the rear of her vehicle by Edel Macklin from Glasnevin, while stopped at traffic lights. However Ms Macklin disputed the claims saying, she was stopped behind Sr Ugbome when she got out of her car, told Macklin she’d hit her and got her insurance details. The judge however wasn’t having it and suggested Sr Ugbome was in fact trying to claim an estimate of insurance after an accident a month previous. God giveth and God does taketh away. Continue reading

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