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Posts Tagged ‘ church of ireland ’

News In Brief: How Not To Be A Sinful Santa

Bah humbug Bus Eireann! (image: globalcool.org)

Bah humbug Bus Eireann! (image: globalcool.org)

Sometimes you can’t make the news up, rather you can’t make the people who make the news up. NIB is thinking specifically here of the author who might remain nameless (NIB could change their mind) of The Kilkenny Journal. Their lead story this week: ‘Paedophiles set to pose as gays to marry and adopt kids’. At first NIB thought it was a joke, then we wished it was. According to the splash, predatory paedophiles are already flocking to Ireland in preparation for the gay marriage bill that will be going through the Dail in the spring. Once married they will use their status as happily married couples to adopt and then abuse children. NIB repeats, this is not a joke, this has actually been published online under the guise of actual factual reporting. Listen lads, it’s time to turn off the internet. We obviously can’t have nice things if this is how we behave. Continue reading

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News in Brief: Pee, Plinths And ‘Prayery Bikers’

Prayery Bikers (image channel4.com)

Prayery Bikers (image channel4.com)

NIB may have ruined the weather for everyone after complaining it was too hot, it seems to have turned straight into Autumn, we’re not going to lie we’re considering putting the fire on.

But in other news, Cork’s footballers are in hot water after relieving water at the side of the pitch. It seems before their All-Ireland quarter-final defeat to Mayo in Croke Park, Corkian Fintan Goold got a bit nervous and just had to go for a tinkle. Fans and the Competitions Control Committee didn’t want to see his winkle though and he could now face a €300 ban. Many took to social media with one tweeting: ‘What about Fintan Goold flopping out the langer in the middle of Croke park and straining the spuds’, NIB couldn’t have put it better and anyway, if you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. Stadium full of thousands of spectators or not, he’s just a man! Continue reading

A Year in Brief: Part One

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What a year it’s been; Hitler birthday cakes, mutant rats, and Bob Geldof off to space! To celebrate the end of another 365 days here are some of NIB’s favourite stories of the year.

Kicking off the year in festive spirit a man in Derry was fined after stealing a CCTV camera which “became his friend”. Police found Peter Morrison, 24, drunk and “petting” the camera as they arrived to arrest him. CCTV pets are for life not just for Christmas. Continue reading

News in Brief-Michael Jackson Alive And Kicking As Hoodies May Be Banned

Wearing a hoodie could become a criminal offence in efforts to stop hoodlums using them to avoid identification when committing crimes. Covering their faces, gangs go un-captured across the country leading Michael Kilcoyne, independent councillor in Castlebar, Co Mayo to question their legality. The popular item of clothing has now been linked to the crimes of Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson and the Hound of the Baskervilles. Following these revelations NIB asks, have we been wearing our hoodie backwards? Continue reading

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