Posts Tagged ‘ College ’

News in Brief- Tesco Launch Not So Eggcellent Trolley Deposit Scheme

jedward

For the day that’s in it and those of you that are in the office and in need of some NIB to brighten your day, let’s kick off with a catastrophe in Kerry.

A crucifix has the whole place divided as councillors can’t decide where to hang the thing in their local offices. Some councillors argue the inclusion of a crucifix, on their office wall; will promote sectarian divisions and religious inequality, while others think the mere presence of a little MDF son of God will make people more honest. Jesus, no pun intended (maybe a little bit); if a wooden statue could stop people lying we’d all be working under mini-statues of our mammies. Councillor Toirèasa Ferris, who labels herself a Christian, opposes the idea as she said; ‘where does religion come into pothole filling’. The councillors have obviously forgotten the real meaning of Easter which is entirely chocolate based.

Tesco in Ballymun understand, they know there are too many Easter eggs and not enough time. Just don’t grab too many, it’ll cost you a tenner for the use of a trolley. The new deposit scheme has been implemented after ‘massive trolley loss’. What constitutes ‘massive’ trolley loss exactly NIB wonders? Who knows though, they may rise again in a few days. Continue reading

News in Brief – Corrupt Government To Silence The Internet As Leaving Cert Cheaters Face Anxious Wait

frted

Do you smell like sheep s***? Do people avoid you because of your stink? Are you a hardened farmer with his own willies and appropriate tan? If you can drive a bullet proof John Dere you could be in luck , Pope Francis may have the job for you! Apparently the Pope wants his bishops to be real shepherds, actual shepherds, with sheep. No not really, but he wants them to be leaders of their flock, part of the farm, a bishop in wolves clothing even. Or sheets clothing anyway. Continue reading

News in Brief-Pope Exploits Nuns As Saviour Bono Celebrates Birthday

Aer Lingus passengers have dropped. Passenger numbers, passenger numbers. Don’t panic. The airline apparently blames the timing of Easter this year, for the decrease in 2.5 pc. Bloody Jesus.

If only the low cost airline had been around in 2345 BC when Ireland suffered twenty years of rain. Twenty years. Everyone would have been desperate to get away. Apparently a volcanic eruption caused the flood – tying in nicely with the dates for Noah’s grand cruise – loading the atmosphere with dust and cooling the earth’s temperature. Apparently these freak weather events occur every thousand or so years, with the last in 540 AD, so we’re overdue another. Continue reading

Stabbing On College Campus In America

It’s usually shootings that we hear about, but yesterday morning Lone Star Community College in Houston, Texas, was the scene of a vicious knife attack that injured at least 14 people, and left two of them in a critical condition. 20 year old Dylan Quick was arrested hours later, and told police that he had “fantasized for years” about “stabbing people to death”. A local sheriff confirmed that Quick had said he’d planned the attack. Continue reading

College Course Dissatisfaction

Students across the country are unhappy with their college courses and various aspects contained within them. If a survey recently performed by a well respected student website is to believed.

The survey done by student website campus.ie has shown that just over a third of students in third level education on Ireland are  unhappy with college courses be it in their composition, their promises or their real world worth. Out of 3,894 students surveyed, 44% of students said they would take a different course if they could go back and fill out the CAO again, an imposing figure considering university today and its supposed high levels of education.

This may be down to a lack of clear explanations and outlines to what the course actually entails. Many college prospectuses’ can be too convoluted and may require a better knowledge of the course subject than obtained at second level. This is shown in that 30% of students noted that their college prospectus didn’t accurately describe their course.

The high levels of dissatisfaction with their chosen course according to the survey may be linked to the notion that students did not feel themselves accurately prepared for college after completion of secondary school. Campus.ie surveyed that 38% of students felt that second level education did not accurately prepare them for college.

And once in college, stress has also shown to be a major factor in the completion of third level degrees with 66% of students having considered dropping out due to stress.

These factors are leading to a large amount of students leaving third year education in turmoil and incoming students feeling even more pressure as they struggle to pick the right course.