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Posts Tagged ‘ council ’

News in Brief- Tesco Launch Not So Eggcellent Trolley Deposit Scheme

jedward

For the day that’s in it and those of you that are in the office and in need of some NIB to brighten your day, let’s kick off with a catastrophe in Kerry.

A crucifix has the whole place divided as councillors can’t decide where to hang the thing in their local offices. Some councillors argue the inclusion of a crucifix, on their office wall; will promote sectarian divisions and religious inequality, while others think the mere presence of a little MDF son of God will make people more honest. Jesus, no pun intended (maybe a little bit); if a wooden statue could stop people lying we’d all be working under mini-statues of our mammies. Councillor Toirèasa Ferris, who labels herself a Christian, opposes the idea as she said; ‘where does religion come into pothole filling’. The councillors have obviously forgotten the real meaning of Easter which is entirely chocolate based.

Tesco in Ballymun understand, they know there are too many Easter eggs and not enough time. Just don’t grab too many, it’ll cost you a tenner for the use of a trolley. The new deposit scheme has been implemented after ‘massive trolley loss’. What constitutes ‘massive’ trolley loss exactly NIB wonders? Who knows though, they may rise again in a few days. Continue reading

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News in Brief-Family Feud “A Bit Of Craic”

fighting-kidsDublin’s new bridge, crossing the Liffey at Marlborough Street and connecting Luas lines on each side of the river, is looking for a name. A list of 85 possibilities were suggested by the general public which has been short listed by Dublin Council to 17. Word of advice to Dublin City Council: don’t ask the public to decide things like this. They will take the piss. Some suggestions in a comments thread on The Times website included: Bosco Bridge; Daniel Day Luas Bridge (nice); Da Plain People O’Ireland Bridge; Jedward Bridge; and NIB favourite, the Feckin’ Bridge.

This year’s Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival is going gay. ’The Outing’ aims to offer gay and lesbian participants a matchmaking service to rival it’s straight counterpart with drag shows and ceilìs combined. Music, dancing and matchmaking will be overseen by Panti, ’Drag High-Queen of Ireland’ (who knew we were a monarchy?), at a price of €199 per person, sharing. Obviously they’re confident about meeting Mr or Mrs Right in Clare. Continue reading

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