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Posts Tagged ‘ cows ’

News In Brief: Shannon, Sexism And Serious Amounts Of drugs

A whole hape of coke (image: Thejournal.ie)

A whole hape of coke (image: Thejournal.ie)

It’s been a grand aul week for the ploughing! Enda was there of course, making a show of himself at the annual championships – this year in Laois, but that wasn’t the only reason Irish farmers have been upset this week.

They’re not impressed with Rosanna Davison, daughter of a lady in red and Chris de Burgh, after she told readers of the Irish Independent’s Health and Living magazine that dairy products are bad for you. The Irish Creamery Milk Suppliers Association reacted accordingly calling her article “ill-advised and scientifically illiterate”. Zing! You can’t argue with science Rosanna, especially when you’re looking down the barrel of a big burger and a pint of milk! Mmm. Continue reading

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News in Brief – Shocking Pictures Emerge As Lovely Cows Competition Takes Centre Stage

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We’ve all seen the shocking pictures posted online in the last week, of Simon Cowell with his shirt undone. At the London premiere of the new blockbuster, One Direction’s film – in which they learn the hand L trick to tell left and right – Simon certainly showed us more than we needed to see, much like the now eponymous “Slane pics”.

In fact, unbeknownst to the popular press, all eyes were on the Lovely Cows this week, no that’s not a typo. The Lovely Cows competition in Cavan is by far superior to The Rose of Tralee, judging, as it does, the loveliest of cows. How do you judge a lovely cow? NIB hears you ask, on “dairyness” and “femininity”. And there’s you thinking it was just about their pretty faces. Oh no. They’re talented bovines, reciting Irish poems and performing traditional dance, it’s a wonder it isn’t televised. Continue reading

News in Brief-Astronaut Set For Late Late Bono Date?

CHIs anyone else starting to find Canadian “celebrity astronaut” Commander Chris Hadfield a little bit annoying? What with his tweeting and singing and constant picture taking of our Emerald Isle. Does he not have space work to be doing rather than instagramming himself in green bow ties and covering Van Morrison tracks with The Chieftains? When he comes back down you can guarantee he’ll be sitting next to Tubridy on the Late Late, buddying up with Bono NIB would bet. Chuh.

In the last year up till the end of January potato prices have risen by 187 per cent. One-hundred and eighty-seven per cent. Jesus. Did anyone know about this? Why wasn’t News in Brief told? Surely this will have major implications on the unsuspecting root veg that forms a large part of our daily diets. Forget cash for gold, cash for crisps is more like it. Comfortingly prices of pigs and calves have remained pretty static – what with the run on horse meat.

Spuds may be up but RTE’s taxi bill is down. The national broadcaster has been doing their bit by reducing their average taxi costs by 12 per cent, not quite a sack of spuds but every little helps. Still their total bill for the year came to €269,298, not the €360,700 initially reported by The Independent (incorrectly supplied by RTE ’in good faith’ whatever that means). Well spent. We wouldn’t want anyone getting their hair wet.

Perhaps it was a bit harsh to have a go at old Commander Hadfield, after all he has provided us with some lovely shots of Ireland from the air for less than a taxi from RTE and a bag of chips. All the bits of the country not covered in wind turbines that is. Those filthy, industrial, death bringing machines (NIB has found a new direction for our ire). That’s right, they’re killing us all. Killing might be a bit strong, but they’re bloody annoying. All right, not really annoying, but THEY EXIST. A group of families in North Cork really don’t like them and are launching a case against the company behind their local turbines, citing they are negatively impacting on their health as well as causing significant noise pollution. Similar cases are now being prepared for other sites, including Wexford and the potential site planned for the midlands is making everyone anxious. However Tim Cowhig, CEO of one of the developers, Element Power, said there is no scientific evidence to link wind turbines to ill health. It’s all just hot air.

Ouch that was a bad one. Anyway, moving on. In lovely celeb news Niall Horan’s (of the 1D) big brother is getting married, in secret, in six days. Greg Horan told the Herald on Thursday it was “crazy having to keep the date of your own wedding secret” with “just seven days” to go. Let’s hope someone points him in the right direction on the big day.

You can put lipstick on a pig but, oh no wait, you can’t anymore. Animal rights activists have recently won a landmark battle to prevent the testing of cosmetics on animals. Hurrah! But now what is NIB meant to do on a rainy afternoon?*

*NIB does not advocate putting lipstick on pigs, however covering chickens in body glitter . . .

News in Brief-Horan Most Popular Irish Celeb Online As Terrible Twins Hit 21

Apparently we’re due an Indian summer (HA!) and with a resurgence of good weather (HA! HA!) it seems the season is open to silliness again.

A housing estate in Co Donegal should be demolished according to its residents. The reason? It was built on a bog. The wise man did not build his house on the bog, and neither should these builders. Within a year the entire 15-house estate, Radharc An Seascan at Meenmore, had sunk. Now, residents say the houses are completely uninhabitable and should be demolished. Whilst insurance company Aviva are covering €2 million of the cost as representatives for the architect/engineers it may not be enough to repay those that invested in the aptly titled “Titanic Site”. The case is due to be reopened and the judge expected to reserve his decision.

How do you measure success? Money? Property? A lasting legacy? No, Twitter followers. Niall Horan (of One Direction fame) has surpassed the “follower” count of Westlife and Boyzone combined with a total of 7 million people avidly watching and waiting for his 140 character insights. Making the eighteen-year old from Mullingar the most popular Irish celebrity online. This figure pales in comparison to the 33 million One Direction fans world-wide, imaginatively nicknamed ‘Onedirectioners’.

In other celeb news . . . . Jedward are back! Thank. God. The terrible two-some were out on the town to celebrate turning twenty-one this week. They chose to skip Las Vegas and instead celebrated at 37 Dawson Street in the city with friends, family and tour dancers. The party was organised by their mum. Awww.

Hurrah! Hospital waiting lists are down by 16%! Now there are only around 50,000 people awaiting procedures.

Bloody cows. Not only do they stand around in fields all day smelling and looking suspicious but now they’ve only gone and produced too much milk! But it’s not the cows that will face the consequences. Produces now face a levy of €16 million for the over flow of almost 1% of Ireland’s quota.
Cork now has its own Monopoly board. The perennially popular board game, that allows players to finance their own property empire will now feature 22 of Cork’s most notable landmarks and locations as voted for by locals. Set for release today, it promises HOURS of fun for Christmas as we all get to have a go at being Michael Noonan.

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