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Posts Tagged ‘ DNA ’

News In Brief – Irish Champion Slams Innocent Roma

roma

Rob Heffernan, the gold medal winning walker from Cork may walk the walk, but he doesn’t tweet the tweet. A recent slip on the social networking site has taken the shine off his World Athletics Championship medal after, in reply to the case of Gardai removing two children from their Roma families on suspicion of abduction, he tweeted: “Unbelievably dirty scumbags. They should be shipped out”. Uh oh. Of course the Roma children were living with their biological parents and Heffernan apologised.

Further proof paying the property tax was a bad idea: their coming after you for next year’s cash this year. If you succumbed to political pressure and threats of fines (that NIB hasn’t heard to materialise) you’ll now pay for it again as the government wants its wages in advance. They’ve Christmas parties to pay for! Continue reading

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News in Brief – A Year in Brief

Olympic TorchHAPPY NEW YEAR! How’s the head? Mouth feel like it’s full of Jedwards hair? What better way to start the New Year than tired, fat and saturated in booze?

It hasn’t been a bad year. Actually . . . Well anyway to celebrate the dawn of the unlucky for some 2013 News in Brief has taken a look back at some of the best stories from 2012.

2012 saw the evolution of lives lived online and cemented the necessity that is the internet across every aspect of our lives. And its propensity for porn. Seeing the potential in owning online, Kevin O’Shea from Waterford in a “moment of madness” bought the domains; finegael.xxx, sinnfein.xxx and fiannafail.xxx for €300; the X-rated dot-com equivalent known for its use in porn site web addresses. On his purchases O’Shea said, ” I was laid up with a broken leg and I had a lot of time on my hands. It was kind of like that film Rear Window where the main character goes a bit mad.”

Last year Irish author Julian Gough, took umbrage with the organisers of the eponymous Wodehouse literary prize after discovering their winner was secured before the short list was drawn up. The well sought prize for the winner of the Wodehouse award? Well the top author has the honour of bestowing their name on a pig. Gough offended by the fix in the competition stole the prize pig from its home in Wales threatening to return the animal “sausage by sausage” until the competition was made fair. In a twist to the tale, and despite Gough’s criminal activity, 2012 saw the writer once again short listed for the award.

A former drug addict helped her husband in his attempt to rob a building society disguised as a wheelchair bound woman. While Denise Ward, 39 waited outside in a car, Thomas Clark dressed in a black wig, threatened a Permanent TSB branch manager with an axe. However Clark and his 21-year-old accomplice were chased from the building by the manager, shouting; “would you ever f*** off”.

In other banking news Ulster Bank lost the run of itself also losing its customers cash somewhere. Taxes, the payment and avoidance of also dominated the news this year. British comedian Jimmy Carr’s lack of tax lead to controversy on this side of the water as well. Whilst we know certain superstars of our own *cough-German submarine named band-cough* have made use of off-shore, legal, tax reduction measures it is unlikely they will face a barrage like Carr as the Irish economy relies in part on the income of the `legitimate tax avoidance measures` we offer global companies such as Facebook, Google and Apple . And at least Ulster Bank apologised. Chief Executive, Jim Brown turned down this year’s bonus after the unmitigated disaster that has been Ulster Bank’s computer problems. Thanks Jim.

Starbucks found themselves in trouble after they “erroneously posted” a tweet on their @StarbucksIE account saying; “Happy hour is on! Show us what makes you proud to be British for a chance to win. Don’t forget to tag #MyFrappuccino”. Irish followers didn’t take well to the mis-tweet with comedy writer Colm Tobin calling it, “the social media equivalent of Oliver Cromwell kicking Fungi in the nose” and another tweeter suggesting Starbucks re-name frappuccino’s, ‘Trappachino’s’ for the duration of the Euro 2012. Of which the less said the better.

On a similar theme we all watched Eurovision didn’t we? You either love it or threaten to `shed the blood` of `European scum`. Oh dear. For a show that often receives a Marmite reaction an Islamic extremist group went a bit further threatening to use knives and chemical weapons in a terror attack on the Eurovision hopefuls in May. Irish entry Jedward were unfazed, tweeting `Just so you know the Jedward Baby Day Care is closed and will not be changing any diapers so go baby wee wee at your own home`. Quite.

Ah Jedward, the stalwarts or News In Brief what else have they done this year? Well another one turned up, then another two (although made of wax), they ran a marathon with no training and supported Westlife in their farewell tour in Croke Park – never will we see four men, so stoically and so expertly stand up from stools.

It was Jedward who carried the Olympic flame as well, as it crossed Irish soil. With population figures taken into account Ireland came fourth in the Paralympics and earned a total of sixteen medals across London 2012. Not too shabby and a source of great pride to the whole country who welcomed our champions home with great ceremony and celebration. First stop The Late Late Show where the host managed to make a mockery of the whole thing and get Adam Nolan’s name wrong, repeatedly. He certainly wouldn’t want to meet the boxing champion in the ring after calling him Andy throughout the show causing Adam to take to Twitter to endorse the return of Pat Kenny. And the gold medal for prize prat goes to Ryan Tubridy.

What’s longer than an olympic swimming pool and less watery? Well, a lot of things really, but particularly the journey Olympic gymnast hopeful Kieran Behan had to take get to China. Mr Behan had been invited to take part in a prestigious gymnastic event but due to mistakes regarding his visa, was forced to re-board his eighteen hour flight from Heathrow to Beijing. Back in England it was only after discussion with the Chinese embassy that Mr Behan was once again onboard and bound for the Chinese capital. Gymnastics Ireland have taken full blame for the blunder which has cost Keiran five days of important training.Mr Behan, who has overcome sever disability and injury to get to his position in the gymnastic world was understandably frustrated, a member of his team commented, `It was the world’s biggest cock up.`

2012 saw cuts to public services including the Gardai. A victim of a burglary was forced to go and pick up Gardai after she was told there were no patrol cars for them to use. The woman, from Newtowncunningham in Co. Donegal initially reported the incident at her home, before being told she had the choice of waiting for the nearest patrol car, which was 9km away at the Carrigans station, or collecting the Gardai herself to investigate the incident.

And who could forget the councillor in Cork that wanted to introduce DNA testing to determine the doggy culprits leaving mess all over the city’s streets? He’s hoping we all have.

Ah 2012 what a year. What will 2013 bring? Hopefully more of the same. A Westlife reunion, the continuation of Jedward, more government groaning, banking balls ups and the general news fodder that makes this country so great and gives News in Brief something to write about every week. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

News in Brief- Giant Snowman Kidnapped From Wicklow As Cork Councillor Suggests Remedy For Doggy Dirt

snowyJust call him Leveson Walsh, old Louis’s fought press laws and he’s won. The X Factor judge has this week settled a €500,000 defamation action against News Group Newspapers in Ireland. This comes alongside the results of the Lord Justice Leveson inquiry into press standards in the UK. The full four volume work was published yesterday and could see the papers going quiet over the water. But not News in Brief. No, we shall continue un-rumbled by the regulators for a while at least.

It’s not even the 1st of December but Santa and his helpers are on red alert. Particularly in County Wicklow where Snowy, the imaginatively named, giant snowman has gone missing and up to five hundred Christmas trees have also been nabbed.

Growers are employing extra security and even installing CCTV to protect their pines. But for poor Snowy it was too little, too late. Last seen wearing a black hat and carrot nose, the sixty foot inflatable worth approximately €3000, went missing from his home above a shop on Fitzwilliam street in the town. Although there have been some reported sightings nothing has been confirmed.

Enda nearly had egg on his face yesterday as students protested against grants cuts at University College Dublin. The Taoiseach who was visiting the university to launch their new sports centre narrowly avoided the missiles. Members of Free Education for Everyone who were involved in orchestrating the demonstration accused Mr Kenny’s budget of targeting societies most vulnerable. A worthy cause, but who’ll stand up for cannon fodder, those poor innocent chickens?

Some say he can smell dogs mess from four miles away. Some say his family call him the Super Pooper Scooper. All we know is that a councillor in Cork wants to start DNA testing dogs mess in an effort to crack down on pavement foulers! Cllr Kevin O’Keeffe (FF) raised the issue at a recent council meeting after researching similar methods used in the US.

Apparently any accidents at Sellafield nuclear site would have no ill effects on Ireland according to a new report but News in Brief fears it may be too late. Earlier this week another two Jedwards, clones (all right if you’ve seen them that’s questionable) of the original two were unleashed on the world! A Jedquad if you will. It’s OK though the two new Grimes’ are only wax works at the National Wax Museum in Dublin. We hope.

And finally Newstalk radio posed an interesting question during the week. Do Protestants put the toaster in the press overnight? Answers on a postcard.

Space for rent. Cheap rates. Would suit professionals in the British media. Fully furnished with space for free speech, features and articles. No Independent regulators or politicians need apply.

Researchers Map Complete DNA of Unborn Baby

According to a recent study by researchers at the University of Washington, it may soon be possible for expectant parents to screen their unborn babies for up to 3,500 genetic disorders. The study, published by Science Translations Medicine, showed how the group were able to compile a comprehensive genetic map of an 18 week old foetus using tiny DNA particles floating in the mother’s blood.

In order to complete this test, scientists would require a sample of the mother’s blood and the father’s saliva, so that any conditions discovered can then be linked to either the mother or the father’s side.  The test was shown to be 98% effective when the blood sample was analysed at 18 weeks gestation.  An earlier test, taken at 8 weeks gestation, was shown to be 95% effective.

At present, in Ireland, it is currently only possible to test for Down Syndrome using amniocentesis, which has an associated risk of miscarriage, although the risk is small.  This sort of screening, if widely available, could revolutionise the health care system, as doctors could treat certain conditions while the baby is still in the womb, or as soon as they are born. On the other hand, there is a chance that this information could result in an increase in abortion rate, as couples may choose not to continue with a pregnancy should they discover the presence of a serious medical condition.

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