Posts Tagged ‘ gay ’

News In Brief: How Not To Be A Sinful Santa

Bah humbug Bus Eireann! (image: globalcool.org)

Bah humbug Bus Eireann! (image: globalcool.org)

Sometimes you can’t make the news up, rather you can’t make the people who make the news up. NIB is thinking specifically here of the author who might remain nameless (NIB could change their mind) of The Kilkenny Journal. Their lead story this week: ‘Paedophiles set to pose as gays to marry and adopt kids’. At first NIB thought it was a joke, then we wished it was. According to the splash, predatory paedophiles are already flocking to Ireland in preparation for the gay marriage bill that will be going through the Dail in the spring. Once married they will use their status as happily married couples to adopt and then abuse children. NIB repeats, this is not a joke, this has actually been published online under the guise of actual factual reporting. Listen lads, it’s time to turn off the internet. We obviously can’t have nice things if this is how we behave. Continue reading

News In Brief: Gay Cows, Water Rows And One Man’s Giant Marrow

Benjy the 'gay' bull faces the burger. (image: flamencoexport.com)

Benjy the ‘gay’ bull faces the burger. (image: flamencoexport.com)

According to South Korea NIB is too drunk to do their job properly this week, because of Ireland’s “alcoholism nature” but we’ll try our best.

You must have seen this story by now, a young teacher was refused a job in South Korea on the grounds the Irish are a bunch of drunks. Sure you wouldn’t want to work over there anyway they’re a fierce dry bunch of lads.

Remember, remember Thursday’s in November. According to the Injuries Board (great bunch of lads unlike some!) it’s the fourth day of the week in November that most workplace accidents occur, more than any other time of the year. Apparently the average award for a workplace accident increased from €27,286 in 2012 to €28,886 last year. But, their study also shows men get paid more in compensation than women! Although in an act of karma, men are twice as likely to get injured, ha, probably too busy waving their mickeys about. Men, pah!

Talking of the un-fairer sex, Benjy, a Mayo bull, is facing the slaughterhouse because apparently he’s gay. Well done Ireland, round of applause. Apparently the farmer who is remaining anonymous told the Irish Daily Mail he is ‘resigned’ to the animal’s sexuality. He bought him last year having been tested; “everything was normal” until he discovered none of his cows were preggers. He thought he may have been a “discreet chappie” who didn’t want to do his thing, but then started chasing his man friends around. Poor Benjy, he’s off to make some nice burgers though, nice and pink in the middle. Continue reading

News In Brief: Stage The Concert For Br**ks Sake

Putin's reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image: ndtv.com)

Putin’s reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image: ndtv.com)

It hasn’t been a great week for Ireland, what with, you know “the thing” but we’re not talking about that. Not a word. Thank God for NIB your Garth free news source- bugger.

Anyway, up North where residents are busy preparing for the 12th (i.e. locking the doors and turning up the telly) a Christian bakery has been upsetting people almost as much as, ahem, B****s. Ashers bakery came under fire for refusing to make a cake featuring popular Sesame Street stars Bert and Ernie with a slogan for a gay rights campaign group. They must really hate Sesame Street. Continue reading

Cold Comfort In Words Of John Waters

depressed

The other morning while tucking into a fry-up at the local greasy-spoon this correspondent became aware of a heated discussion from the restaurant’s radio. The radio had been tuned to a station broadcasting a phone-in show, with two callers having a heated exchange on the subject of whether depression exists or not. After the trading of a few insults, the show’s host intervened to cool things down, and explained the reason for having the discussion, stemmed from recent views expressed by the journalist John Waters that there is no such thing as depression.

A bit bewildered by what the host had said your correspondent finished off his breakfast and headed home to google John’s comments (maybe he’d been misquoted or taken out of context). This correspondent found a report of the interview in which John was asked if he had become depressed as a result of the recent national backlash against him. (Hostile criticism came from John’s views on Gay couples adopting; he’s against it and opposed to all adoptions at present; until more equal laws for fathers are first implemented), Continue reading

Be Who You Want To Be, Not What Society Expects You To Be

lgbt

On the 2nd of November 2013, in the Lone Star State of Texas, as he has done for many years, the incredibly talented Oscar Award Winning Screen-Writer and LGBT activist Dustin Lance Black encouraged people to “tell your stories and you can change minds”. I am a heterosexual, 22 year old student from Dublin and I am ready to speak out. I am ready to express my disgust at some of my fellow citizens.

My story begins nearly 54 years to the day before I was born. On the 1st of July 1937 the people of the Irish free state decided with an
overwhelming majority to accept the provisions of a new constitution, Bunreacht na hEireann, that would set Ireland free and open up a new window of opportunity by giving Irish people the chance to succeed.

However, we are still awaiting the full enactment of the constitution. The constitution states that “all citizens, shall as human persons, be held equal before the law”. That simply is not worth the paper it’s written on. People will give me the spiel about Ireland being a democracy but I would not be writing this today if that was the case. A democracy is not just a country in which people can vote but in which people can live and not just exist. Of the group I will talk about today, the LGBT community, people, my fellow countrymen and women, find this community or group of people, hard to comprehend, hard to accept. How can people who engage in that sort of activity actually exist at all? People make choices in life and in a so called democracy they have the right to live their lives as they and only they wish to do so. Continue reading

News in Brief-Unionist Lashes Out At Eastenders GAA Jersey

eastenders

Is anyone else starting to think a bit of timely hacking now, might clear up this whole GSOC surveillance mess that continues to dominate the press? Be warned readers, while we are being told to look away by Alan Shatter, something much more sinister is going on elsewhere.

Such as the hike in cabbage prices. It’s true. Apparently ‘St. Patrick’s Day revellers are set to be hit by a cabbage shortage and escalating prices ahead of the annual festivities’ according to IrishCentral.com. Can you imagine? Paddy’s day without any cabbage, what will we – wait. How much cabbage do you normally eat on March 17th? NIB would guess not much, eating is cheating after all and Paddy’s day is New Year’s Eve mark 2. It’s the weather anyway that’s to blame apparently, cabbages have been particularly hit by the cold snap, not to mention they’re floating through Cork at the moment. Continue reading

The Ever Changing Word Of Neil Francis

neilfrancis

Former Irish rugby international Neil Francis jumped head first into hot water this week. Speaking on Newstalk’s Off The Ball, Francis found himself discussing gay people in sport and generalised that, ‘gay people have little interest in sport’, and followed on by saying that’s ‘not a generalisation’. ‘What are their interests?’, he continued, ‘I mean, if you’ve ever sat down with, you know, homosexual people and asked them what their interests are, very often they have no interest in any kind of sport. That’s my experience from sitting down with them; I’ve done it on a regular basis’.

So Neil Francis regularly sits down and discusses issues with gay men. ‘I don’t have an interest in ballet’, he argued when pursued on the matter. Ah well, that’s ok then, why should gay people be allowed to play sport when Neil doesn’t be bothering them at the ballet? When it looked like it couldn’t get any worse, Francis then generalised even further. ‘You do a survey of the hair-dressing industry and find out how many heterosexuals work in that’. Ever heard of women Neil? There’s a few barbers around the country that are pulling their hair out listening to you also. And so it continued, ‘I’m here. I’m going to express an opinion’, he said. That’s fair enough but using phrases like the ‘rugby dressing room is a pretty homophobic environment’, is a bit of backward thinking. Rugby may be a game of passing backwards to go forward but it’s all backwards with Neil on this one. It is just this kind of thinking that prevents young people from expressing themselves and being who they really are. If you’re gay, you’re gay, if you’re heterosexual, you’re heterosexual, who cares anymore? Just get on with it. Continue reading