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Posts Tagged ‘ Heatwave ’

News In Brief: It’s HOT

Washing machines live longer in Limerick (image: airbnb.com)

Washing machines live longer in Limerick (image: airbnb.com)

 

What’s happened to the news? Where is it this week? Diving into the Liffey presumably, jaysus lads it’s quare hot. We’ll try our best anyway.

A four-foot-tall Emu has been stolen from a farm in Carlow. Owner Chris Kavanagh is increasingly concerned for the well fare of his big bird: ‘They do not survive on their own. They get very depressed. They’re fierce happy going around together, and they go off for a run now and again. But when they’re alone they get very depressed and they don’t eat.’ If anyone’s seen Imelda – it’s not really called Imelda but NIB likes the sound of it – they’re encouraged to get in touch. Perhaps you know someone who came home late one night after a few and now has a moving lampshade in the living room. Though: ‘I don’t know what anybody would want an emu for.’ Mr Kavanagh added. Continue reading

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News in Brief – We Need To Talk About Alan

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Hold the phone, it’s hot outside! Well, NIB doesn’t know where you are but it’s hot here! Hurrah!

Despite that though we need to talk about Alan.

Despite being sacked (resigned, whatever?!) Shatter still seems to be up to something scheduling secret meetings with Enda. Sinn Fein have kicked off about it because they weren’t invited to what was bound to be a jelly and ice-cream event, but the Taoiseach’s office has stated it was simply a misunderstanding and no meetings actually took place. Neither Shatter nor Kenny was available to comment as both were busy naked jelly wrestling. Continue reading

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