Posts Tagged ‘ James Reilly ’

News In Brief: Stage The Concert For Br**ks Sake

Putin's reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image: ndtv.com)

Putin’s reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image: ndtv.com)

It hasn’t been a great week for Ireland, what with, you know “the thing” but we’re not talking about that. Not a word. Thank God for NIB your Garth free news source- bugger.

Anyway, up North where residents are busy preparing for the 12th (i.e. locking the doors and turning up the telly) a Christian bakery has been upsetting people almost as much as, ahem, B****s. Ashers bakery came under fire for refusing to make a cake featuring popular Sesame Street stars Bert and Ernie with a slogan for a gay rights campaign group. They must really hate Sesame Street. Continue reading

News In Brief: Leaving Cert, Dirt And Horse Hurt

Just a man, in his pants, rolling turf (Image: gardenplansireland.com)

Just a man, in his pants, rolling turf (Image: gardenplansireland.com)

A Donegal GAA team stopped their bus on the way home from a match this week, not because the lads needed to make use of nature’s services, but to help a man turn his turf in Galway. Despite having lost their match against a Donegal team, the junior semi-finalists were feeling charitable, with 30 of them as well as management and helpers hopping off the bus to lend a hand. Ahh lads as if you weren’t already the golden glow in Irish mammies hearts.

They may have offered the RTE lads a lift though! Turns out RTE staff have been told to ‘get the bus’ in an effort to slash the broadcaster’s spending. Apparently the news room is pretty peed off about it, as they’ll no longer be able to book taxis to take them to their “important meetings” (read as expense account lunches). Don’t expect to be moving over for Sharon Ni Bheolain though she only travels by unicorn and magic carpet. Continue reading

A Year in Brief: Part Two

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Part two of NIB’s yearly round-up because 2013 was just too good! (Read part one here).

Dublin’s new bridge, crossing the Liffey at Marlborough Street and connecting Luas lines on each side of the river, was on the lookout for a name. A list of 85 possibilities was suggested by the public which was then shortlisted by Dublin City Council to 17. Some suggestions in a comments thread on The Times website included: Bosco Bridge; Daniel Day Luas Bridge (nice); Da Plain People O’Ireland Bridge; Jedward Bridge; and NIB favourite, the Feckin’ Bridge. Continue reading

A Year in Brief: Part One

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What a year it’s been; Hitler birthday cakes, mutant rats, and Bob Geldof off to space! To celebrate the end of another 365 days here are some of NIB’s favourite stories of the year.

Kicking off the year in festive spirit a man in Derry was fined after stealing a CCTV camera which “became his friend”. Police found Peter Morrison, 24, drunk and “petting” the camera as they arrived to arrest him. CCTV pets are for life not just for Christmas. Continue reading

News in Brief – Nuns Robbed While Keating Lands Postman Pat Gig

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In the week that’s seen ’Danny Boy’ reach 100 and Cork 10,000, well, not much else has been going on.

There has been some “interesting” research into office party politics answering one of life’s greatest questions, when is the optimum time to take pictures at the office Christmas party? Well that would be 10.02 (with the average party beginning at 7pm, so 182 minutes in, fact) though they can be a bone of contention for some. Women complained the party picture didn’t show them at their best, with twenty percent citing their make-up coming off had crushed their hopes of looking like *insert name of celebrity* in *insert name of film*. One in one hundred men complained of the same dilemma and similarly one in one hundred claimed seeing snaps of the office do caused them to look for a new job, the same one in one hundred perhaps? Continue reading

Standardised Cigarette Package Hearings To Be Held

File:James Reilly February 2011.jpg

Hearings are due to be held by the Oireachtas Health Committee concerning forthcoming legislation which will standardise both cigarettes packaging and the health warnings displayed on these packs. Branding and logos are to be removed, and larger graphic warnings featuring diseased and damaged organs will be included under terms of the Public Health Standardising Packaging of Tobacco Bill 2013.

Continue reading

News in Brief : National Hero At The Centre Of Langer Row

guiForgive NIB for thinking Arthur’s Day in all its Guinnessy glory was over for another year last Thursday. Seems we were wrong.

The celebrations haven’t stopped in Kildare. A statue of the man himself has been unveiled to celebrate the first thirty years of his life spent in Celbridge. Minister for Arts, Heritage and the Gaeltacht Jimmy Deenihan was at the event declaring the Diageo name, sorry Guinness name, was known around the world and he hoped the statue would encourage people to drink more Guinness, sorry, visit the town. Although it’s Leixlip that claims the birthplace of the actual black stuff as that is where the first brewery, owned by Diageo, sorry Arthur, was established.*

Apparently Health Minister, and NIB favourite, James Reilly, wants the country to be tobacco free by 2025. Or at least that’s what his smiling face on the advertising says. Behind the scenes it’s highly unlikely the government would outlaw one of the biggest revenue earners and key tool in keeping the masses in hand. More likely is Ireland will become tobacco free, but we’ll all be addicted to million euro gold cigarillos made of ground up unicorn horns. Continue reading

News In Brief – Reilly Plans Free GP Care As Hotel Cancels Beauty Pageant

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Remember last week when Bob Geldof was off to space? If only every week was like that the world would be a happier place*. Instead we’ve got protestors and pageants.

What’s the difference between a blobfish (last week’s winner of World’s Ugliest Animal) and the Minister for Health? One understands the intricacies of government spending and the healthcare needs of the country, the other doesn’t. NIB will let you come to your own conclusion which is which . . . James Reilly meanwhile has told Sean O’Rourke on RTE how he plans to bring in free GP care for all Irish citizens and more freebies for kids! Hurrah! But how Mr Reilly? We haven’t got any cash. Ah. Well, it might be slightly ’ambitious’ he told Sean, but sure feck it anyway, it’ll be a bit of craic. Continue reading

News in Brief-President Called “Acknowledged Homosexual” As Jedward Return

Olympic TorchSilly season hasn’t quite got underway with enough speed this year. NIB wants false accusations of homosexuality, sex-fetish filled Ireland and Jedward to do something stupid! Oh wait . . .

Who knew Michael D was an “acknowledged homosexual”? Not even Michael D himself, must have come as quite a surprise to his wife and four kids. American ’Forbes’ magazine was forced to issue an apology after a piece claimed Higgins was a massive gay boy. They weren’t exactly their words. Michael D wasn’t bothered though, because he’s a massive legend, he just got on with this week’s engagements. How would Enda react to similar claims NIB wonders? Continue reading

News in Brief-Daly Kicks Up A Storm As Obama-Mania Takes Over

Clare-DalyThe O’Bamas were here this week enjoying a trip to Glendalough and a portion of chips with Bono. Hasn’t all been Guinness and skittles though. Clare Daly’s been a bit mean about the Presidential family visit and the G8. Daly asked: “Is the US President seeking hypocrite of the century award?” Er, pot, kettle Clare, before branding him “Mr War Criminal” not the most original nickname. Continue reading