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Posts Tagged ‘ Jeremy Kyle ’

News In Brief: Danger Looms As Loo’s Demolished

The loom band disease spreads fast from extremities to internal organs! (image: pinterest.com)

The loom band disease spreads fast from extremities to internal organs! (image: pinterest.com)

Step away from the loom bands! They will KILL you. Danger is looming! Turns out the popular little rubber bands that everyone is spending hours tying in knots could actually be highly cancerous. Well not the actual bands, NIB doesn’t want to scaremonger, but the little charms you can add to your creations. They’ve been found to have excessive levels of carcinogens causing global panic. Or a small media panic. With each great craze comes a great fall, remember when Tamogotchis got smart and started taking over the world and the Americans had to be called in?

In other news it’s been Leaving Cert results week and in true Irish fashion a pub has been blacklisted for offering shots to students at 10.30am. The Bishopstown Bar in Cork, had to apologise after tweeting; ‘Best of luck to all getting results. Remember we serve alcohol from 10.30am’ proving just how important it is to pass your exams so you don’t end up running a pub that opens after Jeremy Kyle every morning. Continue reading

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News in Brief-Cruise Is A ‘Nob As Enda Assembles Egg Deterrent Army

Tom Cruise is a Nobber! It’s true, it’s true, he apparently has ancestral links back to the town in County Meath (whose name isn’t funny at all). Not only that but it seems Cruise could be a distant relation (with a capital DISTANT) to our dear Ryan Tubridy, now Tubs has had his wages cut perhaps Tom could lend him a few euro.

Misquoting, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake’ Stephen Dedalus said in the wake of the production of the celebratory silver James Joyce coins. Featuring a line from Joyce’s great work Ulysses the €10 coins (which cost €43) released by the Central Bank have had to be withdrawn and an embarrassed apology offered after an extra word was added. Honestly, next they’ll be putting in punctuation. Perhaps the sculptor who designed the coins was demonstrating her own stream of consciousness? Continue reading

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