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Posts Tagged ‘ JobBridge ’

News in Brief- Tesco Launch Not So Eggcellent Trolley Deposit Scheme

jedward

For the day that’s in it and those of you that are in the office and in need of some NIB to brighten your day, let’s kick off with a catastrophe in Kerry.

A crucifix has the whole place divided as councillors can’t decide where to hang the thing in their local offices. Some councillors argue the inclusion of a crucifix, on their office wall; will promote sectarian divisions and religious inequality, while others think the mere presence of a little MDF son of God will make people more honest. Jesus, no pun intended (maybe a little bit); if a wooden statue could stop people lying we’d all be working under mini-statues of our mammies. Councillor Toirèasa Ferris, who labels herself a Christian, opposes the idea as she said; ‘where does religion come into pothole filling’. The councillors have obviously forgotten the real meaning of Easter which is entirely chocolate based.

Tesco in Ballymun understand, they know there are too many Easter eggs and not enough time. Just don’t grab too many, it’ll cost you a tenner for the use of a trolley. The new deposit scheme has been implemented after ‘massive trolley loss’. What constitutes ‘massive’ trolley loss exactly NIB wonders? Who knows though, they may rise again in a few days. Continue reading

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News in Brief – Another Week , Another Scandal

rehab

NIB is currently sitting by a cup of cold coffee and some stale cream crackers (the glamour of working from home), Enda Kenny meanwhile is standing by the boss of Irish Water. Presumably he hasn’t got much on and just fancied a stand.

Tayto Park, home of the spud, has been banned from adding any new animals to its zoo after inspectors found “overweight” racoons and evidence of “inappropriate breeding”. Ohh err. Officials from the National Parks and Wildlife Service were following up on a previous ban in 2012 when animals were found to be stressed out and living in poor conditions. It is a theme park based around crisps let’s remember. On their return visit the inspectors were still not satisfied and Tayto have now been ordered not to add to their menagerie for the forseeable. The racoons will have to lay off the cheese and onion, as for the inappropriate breeding . . . Continue reading

News in Brief – Top College Unveils “Sex Toy” Sculpture

sculpture

Apparently we’re all €100,000 better off, on paper (NIB is actually €3 gazillion better off on this if you print off this bit of paper), due to the rise in property prices. It’s all fictional, like the figures banks trade in every day, which in reality is made up of much more meagre funds, and they’re ours. But anyway, it’s good news!

A man has been banned from every pub in Dublin, after being picked up by Gardai for being drunk and disorderly. This story is not to be confused with the Bertie bashing last week, when former Taoiseach Ahern was given a whack round the earlobes by another punter with a crutch. Although perhaps banning Bertie from every pub in Dublin would prevent similar problems in the future. Just an idea. Continue reading

Delay In Welfare Payments To Affect 32,700

Some Social Welfare payments will be delayed by one day this week due to a technical error, the Department of Social Protection has said.

The Department said around 32,700 people who would normally receive a payment into their bank account today will not receive their payment until tomorrow morning. The issue affects payments made by Electronic Funds Transfer and is due to a one-off processing issue, the Department said. Continue reading

Independent Evaluation Reveals JobBridge Flaws

File:Joan Burton crop.jpg

An independent evaluation carried out on Ireland’s national internship scheme, JobBridge, has found that three in five people who undertake internships through the scheme have found employment afterwards. The evaluation, which was carried out by Indecon Economic Consultants shows that 61 per cent of interns moved on to paid employment following completion of their internship.

The Government has consistently placed their full support and backing behind the scheme. Speaking on the findings of the report, Taoiseach Enda Kenny said: “The Government has an ambitious plan to modernise and improve our work activation services as part of our Pathways to Work strategy. JobBridge was a key early scheme to help deliver on this agenda. It is now clear that JobBridge is delivering for thousands of jobseekers by providing them with valuable opportunities to gain relevant work experience, knowledge and skills in a workplace environment. The fact that three in five interns gain employment following the scheme is a testament to the potential that exists in providing new work activation services to jobseekers and employers.”

Continue reading

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