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Posts Tagged ‘ Kanye West ’

News In Brief: Leaving Cert, Dirt And Horse Hurt

Just a man, in his pants, rolling turf (Image: gardenplansireland.com)

Just a man, in his pants, rolling turf (Image: gardenplansireland.com)

A Donegal GAA team stopped their bus on the way home from a match this week, not because the lads needed to make use of nature’s services, but to help a man turn his turf in Galway. Despite having lost their match against a Donegal team, the junior semi-finalists were feeling charitable, with 30 of them as well as management and helpers hopping off the bus to lend a hand. Ahh lads as if you weren’t already the golden glow in Irish mammies hearts.

They may have offered the RTE lads a lift though! Turns out RTE staff have been told to ‘get the bus’ in an effort to slash the broadcaster’s spending. Apparently the news room is pretty peed off about it, as they’ll no longer be able to book taxis to take them to their “important meetings” (read as expense account lunches). Don’t expect to be moving over for Sharon Ni Bheolain though she only travels by unicorn and magic carpet. Continue reading

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News In Brief: Kimye Land As Gilmore Takes Off

Kimye indulge in a bit of shopping on Grafton Street (Image: sugarscape.com)

Kimye indulge in a bit of shopping on Grafton Street (Image: sugarscape.com)

 

First they were here, then they were gone. The nation mourns the departure of ‘Kimye’, newlyweds Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, as much as we’re mourning the resignation of Eamon Gilmore as Labour Leader. NIB will let you come to your own conclusions about how much that is.

It’s true Joan’s going for the leadership role now. Great news all round. Entertainment channel E! in America were quick to jump on the bandwagon asking if she really had been spotted leaving a cinema in Portlaoise? Turns out it wasn’t her but ‘Kimye’. In case you missed it this is of course making reference to the world media being fooled by photo-shopped images of the famous couple and tweets suggesting they were just after getting themselves some breakfast rolls. Unfortunately the news about Joan isn’t a joke. Sure it may as well be her as anyone else for all the difference it’ll make. Continue reading

News In Brief – Reilly Plans Free GP Care As Hotel Cancels Beauty Pageant

Toddlers-and-Tiaras_1941

Remember last week when Bob Geldof was off to space? If only every week was like that the world would be a happier place*. Instead we’ve got protestors and pageants.

What’s the difference between a blobfish (last week’s winner of World’s Ugliest Animal) and the Minister for Health? One understands the intricacies of government spending and the healthcare needs of the country, the other doesn’t. NIB will let you come to your own conclusion which is which . . . James Reilly meanwhile has told Sean O’Rourke on RTE how he plans to bring in free GP care for all Irish citizens and more freebies for kids! Hurrah! But how Mr Reilly? We haven’t got any cash. Ah. Well, it might be slightly ’ambitious’ he told Sean, but sure feck it anyway, it’ll be a bit of craic. Continue reading

News in Brief-A Weeks of Mishaps As Wallace And Starbucks Gain Unwanted Attention

Mick Wallace, the tax evading TD, is on the naughty step again. The Independent TD has insisted it is “very unlikely” his firm will honour its debts to the Revenue. Reassuring to many Irish families suffering through the monetary crisis. Wallace also insists he will not resign despite deliberately breaking the law by knowingly under-declaring Vat. Nine members of the technical group of TDs said Mr Wallace had “done wrong and that he should be equally accountable as any other TD or ordinary Irish citizen”. However this would imply white-haired Wallace from Wexford, in his pink shirt and dangly earring is an ordinary citizen . . .

 

In other money news Kanye West and Jay Z are giving the cash-strapped Irish public a break by reducing their fees for their regally titled show, Watch the Throne at the O2 on Saturday night. How very good of the multi-millionaire musicians. As long as us commoners do indeed, watch their thrones on our way out.

 

Starbucks have found themselves in trouble this week after they “erroneously posted” a tweet on their @StarbucksIE account saying; “Happy hour is on! Show us what makes you proud to be British for a chance to win. Don’t forget to tag #MyFrappuccino”. Irish followers didn’t take well to the mis-tweet with comedy writer Colm Tobin calling it, “the social media equivalent of Oliver Cromwell kicking Fungi in the nose” and another tweeter suggesting Starbucks re-name frappuccino’s, ‘Trappachino’s’ for the duration of the Euro 2012.

 

The Green Army are on their way to Poland as we speak for the start of Euro 2012. What a terrifyingly drunken sight they must be. Dublin airport is set to struggle through the masses of Irish fans who are being urged not to boost Poland’s sex trade whilst in the country. Katherine Dunne, Labour Women Chair, commented: ‘Experience has shown that any major sporting event at which large numbers of people congregate results in a temporary and spectacular increase in the demand for sexualservices’. And that’s just the footballers.

 

Junior cert. and Leaving cert. students are also kicking off, with many now having sat their English, Irish and Home Ec. papers. There was even a surprise visit from Justin Bieber, not in person which would presumably have caused mass hysteria, but in the Higher Irish Leaving cert. exam. Tá mé Justin, an bhfuil tú Belieber?

 

In another major sporting event, the Olympic flame briefly came to Ireland, who did we send forth to carry it aloft? You all know. I’m not naming them this week. Those two.

 

 

 

 
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