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Posts Tagged ‘ Leo Varadkar ’

Inclusion Ireland Call For Independent Àras Attracta Inquiry

inclusion

Chairperson of Inclusion Ireland Tom Healy is calling for an independent inquiry into the Áras Attracta care home in Swinford, Co Mayo to restore confidence in disability services following the RTÉ Investigations Unit programme last night (Tuesday, 9th December).

The disturbing, distressing and shocking programme shone a depressing light on the standards of residential care for persons with intellectual disabilities in this HSE-run facility. Continue reading

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News In Brief: Healy-Rae’s Cross And Gerry’s Not Happy Either

Mmmm Michael-Healy-Rae (image: irishecho.com.au)

Mmmm Michael-Healy-Rae (image: irishecho.com.au)

This, was the week Gerry Adams used the word “bastards” and everyone went mental but he wasn’t the only one letting his mouth work before his brain had had a chance to turn on.

Gregory Campbell a DUP politician and “b**tard” really went to town when he decided to lay into the Irish Language, poor defenceless little thing that it is. “Curry my yoghurt can coca coalyer” he told the Northern Assembly, taking the piss out of the Irish phrase: “Go raibh maith agat, Ceann Comhairle” meaning “Thank you, Chairperson”. He couldn’t see the big deal though and also said any proposed Irish Language Act would be treated, by himself, as toilet paper. Charming. Anyone that didn’t get the joke he said, needed a humour bypass. NIB doesn’t know, maybe he thought he was saying something else entirely, like; A man walked into a bar …. Or maybe he was just pissed, you’d need a drink to face the Northern Assembly. Continue reading

News In Brief: Gay Cows, Water Rows And One Man’s Giant Marrow

Benjy the 'gay' bull faces the burger. (image: flamencoexport.com)

Benjy the ‘gay’ bull faces the burger. (image: flamencoexport.com)

According to South Korea NIB is too drunk to do their job properly this week, because of Ireland’s “alcoholism nature” but we’ll try our best.

You must have seen this story by now, a young teacher was refused a job in South Korea on the grounds the Irish are a bunch of drunks. Sure you wouldn’t want to work over there anyway they’re a fierce dry bunch of lads.

Remember, remember Thursday’s in November. According to the Injuries Board (great bunch of lads unlike some!) it’s the fourth day of the week in November that most workplace accidents occur, more than any other time of the year. Apparently the average award for a workplace accident increased from €27,286 in 2012 to €28,886 last year. But, their study also shows men get paid more in compensation than women! Although in an act of karma, men are twice as likely to get injured, ha, probably too busy waving their mickeys about. Men, pah!

Talking of the un-fairer sex, Benjy, a Mayo bull, is facing the slaughterhouse because apparently he’s gay. Well done Ireland, round of applause. Apparently the farmer who is remaining anonymous told the Irish Daily Mail he is ‘resigned’ to the animal’s sexuality. He bought him last year having been tested; “everything was normal” until he discovered none of his cows were preggers. He thought he may have been a “discreet chappie” who didn’t want to do his thing, but then started chasing his man friends around. Poor Benjy, he’s off to make some nice burgers though, nice and pink in the middle. Continue reading

News In Brief: Stage The Concert For Br**ks Sake

Putin's reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image: ndtv.com)

Putin’s reportedly a BIG fan of Brooks (image: ndtv.com)

It hasn’t been a great week for Ireland, what with, you know “the thing” but we’re not talking about that. Not a word. Thank God for NIB your Garth free news source- bugger.

Anyway, up North where residents are busy preparing for the 12th (i.e. locking the doors and turning up the telly) a Christian bakery has been upsetting people almost as much as, ahem, B****s. Ashers bakery came under fire for refusing to make a cake featuring popular Sesame Street stars Bert and Ernie with a slogan for a gay rights campaign group. They must really hate Sesame Street. Continue reading

News In Brief: Varadkar Says Cups Are Ok As Dempsey Springs To The Rescue

Don't be a mug while your driving! (image: urbanoutfitters.com)

Don’t be a mug while your driving! (image: urbanoutfitters.com)

Musician Damien Dempsey has cemented his place in Wexford’s own Rock ’n’ Roll Hall of fame after rescuing two ailing swimmers in the River Slaney, before drying himself off and carrying on to his scheduled gig. What a man. He didn’t even mention it afterwards. According to reports he swam him, towed the swimmers back to safety, got out, picked up his shoes and walked off into the sunset. Honest to God. Dempsey for president!

Continue reading

News In Brief: Baby Horan’s A Hit While Gerry Adams Gets Trolled

putin

The Pope is becoming a regular feature in NIB these days, more so than that Bono fella. And this week is no exception you will all be glad to know. In a ceremony to mark the first anniversary of the Pope’s inauguration Archbishop of Dublin Diarmuid Martin told the congregation the Pope isn’t popular because of any polished public image, he’s not an attention seeking superstar and he most definitely isn’t interested in ‘Christians with sour faces’ eradicating the majority of the Irish Church. He’s just a bloke! Though with history’s greatest PR man behind him.

NIB thought we were on to a good story when we saw Vladimir had called on Garda Commissioner Callinan to withdraw his ‘disgusting’ remark about police whistle-blowers, until we realised it wasn’t the leader of Russia, Vladimir Putin, making the call but our own transport minister Leo Varadkar. Disappointment doesn’t cover it, imagine that, Callinan would have withdrawn his comments, apologised profusely and baked cake for everyone if it had been Putin. Continue reading

News In Brief – Reilly Plans Free GP Care As Hotel Cancels Beauty Pageant

Toddlers-and-Tiaras_1941

Remember last week when Bob Geldof was off to space? If only every week was like that the world would be a happier place*. Instead we’ve got protestors and pageants.

What’s the difference between a blobfish (last week’s winner of World’s Ugliest Animal) and the Minister for Health? One understands the intricacies of government spending and the healthcare needs of the country, the other doesn’t. NIB will let you come to your own conclusion which is which . . . James Reilly meanwhile has told Sean O’Rourke on RTE how he plans to bring in free GP care for all Irish citizens and more freebies for kids! Hurrah! But how Mr Reilly? We haven’t got any cash. Ah. Well, it might be slightly ’ambitious’ he told Sean, but sure feck it anyway, it’ll be a bit of craic. Continue reading

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