Posts Tagged ‘ Mick Wallace ’

News In Brief: It’s HOT

Washing machines live longer in Limerick (image:

Washing machines live longer in Limerick (image:


What’s happened to the news? Where is it this week? Diving into the Liffey presumably, jaysus lads it’s quare hot. We’ll try our best anyway.

A four-foot-tall Emu has been stolen from a farm in Carlow. Owner Chris Kavanagh is increasingly concerned for the well fare of his big bird: ‘They do not survive on their own. They get very depressed. They’re fierce happy going around together, and they go off for a run now and again. But when they’re alone they get very depressed and they don’t eat.’ If anyone’s seen Imelda – it’s not really called Imelda but NIB likes the sound of it – they’re encouraged to get in touch. Perhaps you know someone who came home late one night after a few and now has a moving lampshade in the living room. Though: ‘I don’t know what anybody would want an emu for.’ Mr Kavanagh added. Continue reading

News in Brief-Ireland Set For Scum Town As Quinn’s Daughter Loses Her Memory

Aoife-QuinnCounty Clare may soon boast the first Irish “scum town” following the introduction of similar in Amsterdam. The idea was mooted by Fine Gael Councilor Joe Arkins at a council meeting on Monday. “It sounds drastic but we are at a stage where something drastic must be done” Arkins said. These villages of the damned would house anti-social neighbours together until eventually they unite, rise up and kill us all. Continue reading

News in Brief-Controversy Reigns Supreme At Government HQ While Irish Fans Mock Merkel

The biggest story this week has to be the publication, by the ESRI, of a report claiming hat four out of ten families would be financially better off on benefits than going out to work. Almost as soon as the news broke fierce denials were issued from the government claiming the report had not been reviewed or approved before being published online.

Although denying they came under pressure from the government the Economic and Social Research Institute later revised their findings, saying the analysis contained in the paper was ‘seriously flawed’, and that a more realistic figure for those families better off on benefits was closer to 10% than 44%.
From the ESRI’s own goals to no goals, sadly for football fans the Euro dream is already over, losing as Ireland did last night to Spain. Here comes the inevitable onslaught of criticism – all those Trap-branded consumer deals better quickly revert to their pre-Euro names as the football manager is now bound for a battering from the pundits.
Some football fans however are having a better time of it. The now famous ‘Angela Merkel Thinks We’re At Work’ flag holders are playing into extra time as photos of their flag have gone viral. Even making it as far as Angela Merkel’s office. Disappointingly though, this time next week, they will be at work.
Irish World War II veterans that were ostracised for absenting from Irish Defence Forces and joining the British Army are to be given an amnesty according to Alan Shatter. Not as an excuse for desertion the amnesty is to reverse rulings put into pace under De Valera that prevented dissenters claiming a service pension or gaining state employment for seven years on their return. Whilst this re-evaluation of the struggles of the armed forces is welcome, just how many WWII veterans are left to enjoy it?
Mick Wallace has dominated the papers this week not only because of a €2.1million outstanding tax bill but also in the debate over Dáil dress code. Apparently his trademark pink t-shirt “because Wallace is worth it” hair isn’t appropriate for the Dáil and instead male politicians will be expected to swap beauty tips in business attire. Shoddy dressing has been largely blamed on independent TD’s such as Wallace who’s refusal to conform to ‘the man’ could see him put in the corner.
Dressing appropriately isn’t an issue for Madonna who when it doubt whips them out, flashing her various bits and bobs whilst on her current European tour. Piers Morgan really took offence to the middle-aged mammary pointing at him from the tabloids branding Madge ‘cringe-worthy’ and ‘desperate’. What a boob.