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Posts Tagged ‘ ming flanagan ’

News in Brief – Bins, Ming and the Taoiseach’s Things

Ming Campainging for BOI to Keep our Fur!

Ming campaigning for BOI to Keep our Fur!

A 90-year-old woman is being pursued by debt collectors for a €14 bin fine. That’s right, while the world crumbles and Ming Flanagan seems our most viable option for Europe, Dublin City Council want their €14 back! The woman, who has not been named, lives alone in inner-city Dublin and became the subject of the debt collectors interest over an unpaid bill dating back to the privatisation of Dublin’s waste collection services. Four letters were sent threatening aggressive legal action and publication in Stubbs Gazette. Well done lads, what a lovely bunch you are, can NIB point you in the direction of a Mr Shatter who owes us €70k?

A painting by Michael Flatley tops the list of the Taoiseach’s most expensive gifts. The painting title ‘The Irish Potato Famine’ was created by Flatley daubing his feet in paint and dancing on a canvas (and you can tell) and has been valued at €5000. Other gifts include a golden replica of the Mecca Royal Hotel Clock Tower (Enda’s a bingo fan), a bust of JFK, a bottle of booze from the Queen and a boat. So that’s nice isn’t it? Good old Enda. NIB got three pairs of tights last Christmas . . . Continue reading

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News in Brief – Shocking Pictures Emerge As Lovely Cows Competition Takes Centre Stage

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We’ve all seen the shocking pictures posted online in the last week, of Simon Cowell with his shirt undone. At the London premiere of the new blockbuster, One Direction’s film – in which they learn the hand L trick to tell left and right – Simon certainly showed us more than we needed to see, much like the now eponymous “Slane pics”.

In fact, unbeknownst to the popular press, all eyes were on the Lovely Cows this week, no that’s not a typo. The Lovely Cows competition in Cavan is by far superior to The Rose of Tralee, judging, as it does, the loveliest of cows. How do you judge a lovely cow? NIB hears you ask, on “dairyness” and “femininity”. And there’s you thinking it was just about their pretty faces. Oh no. They’re talented bovines, reciting Irish poems and performing traditional dance, it’s a wonder it isn’t televised. Continue reading

News in Brief- Corrupt Ming Wins Gold Cup

MINGThe property tax website doesn’t even warrant NIB’s derision. For feck’s sake lads. The government really backed a loser there. Incapable of hurdling over the minor issue that 50% of the website didn’t work. There’s been lots of winners this Cheltenham race week though, not just Willie Mullins.

Obviously we were all waiting with breath that was bated on Tuesday for Ming’s speech from the Dail on the possibility of An Garda Siochana and a council official removing points incurred by him for driving offences. Currently the law allows members of the Oireachtas to avoid driving penalties if on “official business” meaning Ming hasn’t technically done anything wrong other than be a complete hypocrite and winning the Gold Cup for being as corrupt as those he has previously accused. But sure he’s a politician. Continue reading

News in Brief-Ming Compares Himself To Branson As Sinead Reveals Drugged Up Oasis Frontman Proposed To Her

sineadandnoelWhat do British politician Mo Mowlam, Richard Branson and Bill Clinton have in common? Ming Flanagan apparently. According to the controversial TD himself who made the comparison in yet another call for the decriminalisation of drugs in Ireland, also admitting to having used class A narcotics in the past. Ming, representative for the Roscommon/South Leitrim area, has claimed it is unlikely other members of the Dail won’t have dabbled with drugs in the past and has suggested all TD’s take a lie detector test to prove their hypocrisy. Lucy will be in the sky with diamonds before that happens. Continue reading

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