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Posts Tagged ‘ morning sickness ’

News in Brief: Ryanair Boss Lashes Out As Prince Willy Gets Set To Be A Daddy

Pregnant: Willie Wasted No Time

Pregnant: Willie Wasted No Time

An Garda Síochána to the rescue! The guards saved the day in a movie like sting this week just as a poor pensioner was about to be duped out of €5000 in a tarmacadam scam. In a crack down on fraudsters, uniform and armed officers (all with pants over tights of course and, News in Brief likes to imagine, accompanied by the Batman and Robin theme tune) were out in Waterford where they prevented the frail gentleman from parting with his cash in the nick of time. The suspects scarpered.

A former Fianna Fail councillor and chairman at IT Tralee has been defamed by no less than 26 professors who claim he plagiarised chunks of his thesis. This thesis makes up part of a degree paid for from his allowance from Clare County Council.

In some cases, the angered lectures allege, large pieces of the work by Flan Garvey are identical to previously published sources, including a whopping fourteen page segment that first appeared in a text from 1965. Mr Garvey certainly doesn’t get any honours.

Michael O’Leary has rained on the Gathering parade with a bizarre air of superiority (forgetting it’s himself that’ll be shipping tourists in to the economy boosting scheme).

Nothing if not controversial, the Ryanair boss has labelled the event scheduled for 2013 ‘The Grabbing’ criticising the increased taxes at Dublin Airport which will hit him directly. James O’Reilly, chairman of the World Mini Games that are coming to Cork next year (watch out Rio!) told O’Leary to ’cut out the negative bullshit’ a sentiment News in Brief shares but hopes Michael doesn’t take to mean toilets, seat cushions and pilots from all future flights.

Raindrops keep falling on my tent. It is the biggest tourist hub in the country and it’s also the wettest. Now Killarney is set to be covered in a giant heavy-duty, tent-like canopy so shoppers and tourists alike can keep dry while out and about. Local engineer Paudie O’Mahoney has devised the plan to cover the streets and encourage more “outdoor activities”, indoors. In a worrying prophecy Mr O’Mahoney said, ’I can see it taking off all over the country’. News in Brief isn’t keen on camping . . .

The biggest news story this week is of course the budget. If you were hoping for a Christmas miracle, forget it.
Millionaires will be targeted as will those at the other end of the spectrum earning under €18,000. Politicians will face stricter rules on expenses. Cigarettes, alcohol and fuel are all going up in price. Child benefit will be cut by €10 and medical card holders will see a rise in the prices they pay by 100%. Car tax is going up, dole will be cut, oh and elderly people will be given the chance to pay the property tax on their home from beyond the grave. And good will to all men.

“Last week she got a fringe, this week she’s growing her heir”. Kate Middleton, the future Queen, announced she is preggers. Some tabloids saw it coming when she got a new do – most women traditionally opt for a loose-fitting top, she went for a fringe. Anyway the poor old Princess was hospitalised with severe morning sickness. She was discharged last night although once she sees the papers she might need another visit.
While the Daily Mail speculated on what this meant for the context of those topless photos, on Twitter everyone was getting excited about the prospect of a Half Blood Prince. @RoyalFetus was born almost instantly with such insights as ‘burp’ and ‘I may not have bones yet but I’m already more important than everyone reading this’. Funny and true.

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