Posts Tagged ‘ Niall Horan ’

News In Brief – McGuinness Gets Into Bed With The Queen

queen

There’s been one word on everybody’s lips this week: Bananas. As in; ’this budget is bananas’. Quite true.

Joan Burton’s quite right about one thing, cutting jobseekers allowance by €44 a week will force the young out of the dole queue and out of the country. As always with our politicians the long-term is ignored. Like when Brian Cowen, as Chancellor, failed to see the long-term detriment of overspending during the boom. To sidestep the usual light-hearted tone of NIB for a minute, the government can stick their ’culture of dependency’ up their arse.

The Moriarty Tribunal continues, yes, really. I thought Sherlock killed him under that Waterfall but it seems Moriarty didn’t give up and is claiming legal expenses from the Taoiseach’s department. What do you mean a different Moriarty? I’m talking about fictional events, corrupt baddies and dodgy dealings. At this point the expenses reach €600,000, that certainly sounds fictional. Continue reading

News in Brief – Mourners Upset As Travellers Brawl At Cemetery

fightIt’s that time again, for our weekly round-up of all the mad crap that goes on in this country.

Without wanting to upset anyone NIB starts with some terrible, terrible news. Louis Walsh is going to leave the X Factor. Noooooooooo. Anyway on with this week’s news. Continue reading

News in Brief-Astronaut Set For Late Late Bono Date?

CHIs anyone else starting to find Canadian “celebrity astronaut” Commander Chris Hadfield a little bit annoying? What with his tweeting and singing and constant picture taking of our Emerald Isle. Does he not have space work to be doing rather than instagramming himself in green bow ties and covering Van Morrison tracks with The Chieftains? When he comes back down you can guarantee he’ll be sitting next to Tubridy on the Late Late, buddying up with Bono NIB would bet. Chuh.

In the last year up till the end of January potato prices have risen by 187 per cent. One-hundred and eighty-seven per cent. Jesus. Did anyone know about this? Why wasn’t News in Brief told? Surely this will have major implications on the unsuspecting root veg that forms a large part of our daily diets. Forget cash for gold, cash for crisps is more like it. Comfortingly prices of pigs and calves have remained pretty static – what with the run on horse meat.

Spuds may be up but RTE’s taxi bill is down. The national broadcaster has been doing their bit by reducing their average taxi costs by 12 per cent, not quite a sack of spuds but every little helps. Still their total bill for the year came to €269,298, not the €360,700 initially reported by The Independent (incorrectly supplied by RTE ’in good faith’ whatever that means). Well spent. We wouldn’t want anyone getting their hair wet.

Perhaps it was a bit harsh to have a go at old Commander Hadfield, after all he has provided us with some lovely shots of Ireland from the air for less than a taxi from RTE and a bag of chips. All the bits of the country not covered in wind turbines that is. Those filthy, industrial, death bringing machines (NIB has found a new direction for our ire). That’s right, they’re killing us all. Killing might be a bit strong, but they’re bloody annoying. All right, not really annoying, but THEY EXIST. A group of families in North Cork really don’t like them and are launching a case against the company behind their local turbines, citing they are negatively impacting on their health as well as causing significant noise pollution. Similar cases are now being prepared for other sites, including Wexford and the potential site planned for the midlands is making everyone anxious. However Tim Cowhig, CEO of one of the developers, Element Power, said there is no scientific evidence to link wind turbines to ill health. It’s all just hot air.

Ouch that was a bad one. Anyway, moving on. In lovely celeb news Niall Horan’s (of the 1D) big brother is getting married, in secret, in six days. Greg Horan told the Herald on Thursday it was “crazy having to keep the date of your own wedding secret” with “just seven days” to go. Let’s hope someone points him in the right direction on the big day.

You can put lipstick on a pig but, oh no wait, you can’t anymore. Animal rights activists have recently won a landmark battle to prevent the testing of cosmetics on animals. Hurrah! But now what is NIB meant to do on a rainy afternoon?*

*NIB does not advocate putting lipstick on pigs, however covering chickens in body glitter . . .

News in Brief-Feck Your Honda Civic, I’ve Me Horse In The Carwash

horseAt the BT Young Scientist and Technology Exhibition in Dublin, students and bright young things of the future have been asking the difficult questions. Questions like, how do you know if a melon is ripe without cutting it open? Two young female students from Waterford have come up with a way of deciphering a melons ripeness by measuring sound waves as they pass through it to prevent that gut-aching awfulness of buying a bad fruit that obviously haunts us all. If that all sounds a bit too technologically advanced some students from Kildare Town are testing the ability of hamsters to show human affection. Awww.

In horse news “Never mind your Honda Civic, I’ve me horse in the car wash outside” is the new Wexford version of the Rubber Bandits song. Or it should be. A photo of a horse being power-hosed at a Bunclody garage has become an Internet hit after being captured by a local man and uploaded to Faceook where it’s got more than 2,500 likes. That wasn’t the horse news you were expecting was it?

Seventy-eight new jobs have been announced at Tayto Park. Up there with Glendalough and the Giant’s Causeway as one of Ireland’s premier destinations the land of Tayto founder, Ray Cole said: “Little did I envisage that in two years we would have welcomed 750,000 people to Tayto Park and all because people showed some interest in the bison we kept in the same field.” We do love our 100% Irish (*cough) beef.

In Cork they don’t take kindly to being called slappers. Or not, as the case may be. Samantha McCarthy, 21 and now living in Kilkenny has pleaded guilty to assaulting Garda Kieran O’Callaghan, being threatening and abusive and being drunk and a source of danger to herself or others. The incident occurred when McCarthy was arrested by Gardai for her part in an alleged assault. Whilst waiting for a car to take her to the cells, the drunk Miss McCarthy misheard Garda O’Callaghan when he questioned how she had got blood marks on her cheek and whether they were the result of a slap. Believing him to have called her a slapper – an affront to her dignity! – she slapped him. News in Brief would say that was a fair cop.

To the world of Showbiz and Niall Horan’s bum. The Irish contingent of One Direction is just back from a Comic Relief trip to Ghana with the rest of the boys where they witnessed poverty and deprivation which Niall shared with his five million followers on Twitter. His return hit a bum note though when he later asked on the social networking site: “Have a massive spot on my arse. Wondering should I squeeze it. What do ye think?” According to the young star his account had been hacked and this wasn’t a genuine concern.

News in Brief-Horan Most Popular Irish Celeb Online As Terrible Twins Hit 21

Apparently we’re due an Indian summer (HA!) and with a resurgence of good weather (HA! HA!) it seems the season is open to silliness again.

A housing estate in Co Donegal should be demolished according to its residents. The reason? It was built on a bog. The wise man did not build his house on the bog, and neither should these builders. Within a year the entire 15-house estate, Radharc An Seascan at Meenmore, had sunk. Now, residents say the houses are completely uninhabitable and should be demolished. Whilst insurance company Aviva are covering €2 million of the cost as representatives for the architect/engineers it may not be enough to repay those that invested in the aptly titled “Titanic Site”. The case is due to be reopened and the judge expected to reserve his decision.

How do you measure success? Money? Property? A lasting legacy? No, Twitter followers. Niall Horan (of One Direction fame) has surpassed the “follower” count of Westlife and Boyzone combined with a total of 7 million people avidly watching and waiting for his 140 character insights. Making the eighteen-year old from Mullingar the most popular Irish celebrity online. This figure pales in comparison to the 33 million One Direction fans world-wide, imaginatively nicknamed ‘Onedirectioners’.

In other celeb news . . . . Jedward are back! Thank. God. The terrible two-some were out on the town to celebrate turning twenty-one this week. They chose to skip Las Vegas and instead celebrated at 37 Dawson Street in the city with friends, family and tour dancers. The party was organised by their mum. Awww.

Hurrah! Hospital waiting lists are down by 16%! Now there are only around 50,000 people awaiting procedures.

Bloody cows. Not only do they stand around in fields all day smelling and looking suspicious but now they’ve only gone and produced too much milk! But it’s not the cows that will face the consequences. Produces now face a levy of €16 million for the over flow of almost 1% of Ireland’s quota.
Cork now has its own Monopoly board. The perennially popular board game, that allows players to finance their own property empire will now feature 22 of Cork’s most notable landmarks and locations as voted for by locals. Set for release today, it promises HOURS of fun for Christmas as we all get to have a go at being Michael Noonan.

Twit of the week….. Erm, ‘Tweet’ of the week!

I struggle with the definition of a ‘celebrity’ at the best of times, but when it comes to the definition of an Irish celebrity herein lies a much greater challenge. Like most, I’m not quite sure why many of the so called ‘Irish celebrities’ have acquired the title and furthermore, why such a title requires them to overload the web with a plethora of tweets on the current darling of social media, Twitter.

This week we’ve delved into the intriguing (mundane!) lives of celebrities, which they have so generously shared with us, via Twitter!

Poor DJ Ray Shah seemed to be at breaking point this week… it appears that the life of a DJ is more taxing than one would think.

‘Ah here…. brain is FRIIEEEDDD’

Clearly… as it has impinged upon your ability to spell Ray!! Whatever the reason, it did serve as a gentle reminder that DJs too have brains!! Never doubted you for a minute Ray!

Talking of brains, or lack thereof, Kamal Ibrahim tweeted…

‘It’s been an emotional week! 😦 I miss everyone already x’

I can’t say the feeling is mutual…. we hadn’t even noticed that Mr. World himself had gone MIA / relocated! Word of advice: staying away from the homeland (your celeb land) for too long will result in a downgrade to your already waning celebrity status! (i.e. no more VIP entrances into Dublin’s finest nightclubs!!)

And then there were those celebrities who proved to us that Twitter is a mere medium on which you can detail to your followers what it is you’ve eaten for breakfast….. or in Niall Horan’s case, what you haven’t!!

‘I’ve been asleep for the last 4 hours… I just woke up and everyone has eaten but me.. no one woke me.’

Ever heard of room service Niall?!? You’re not in Mullingar anymore mate, I’m sure the celeb lifestyle which you are currently enjoying stateside can afford you the luxury that is room service! #stop complaining!

Ah, but do not be fooled, celebrities can deviate from the usual ‘I’ve just had a boiled egg for breakfast’ tweet and can instead  offer something more, something profound perhaps…

‘Looking for inspiration #vipstyleawards … Hair/make-up/dress’

Actually scrap that, I read the word inspiration and got a little excited! My bad! Pippa O’Connor Ormond is actually just advertising for a new stylist, well that, or she is unaware that she’ll find the aforementioned in her walk in wardrobe!!

Lastly, my tweet of the week comes from an English celebrity and was one which I couldn’t pass as it offers an insightful glance into the life of one of the UK’s finest celebrities.

‘Right, after late nights I’m off to bed early.(Fills hot water bottle, shuffles into slippers, pours toddy, fetches reading glasses).Night…x’

Too much information Richard!! Surely some of the above needs to be censored?! Sometimes, Richard Madeley can get carried away with the alluring existence that most celebrities enjoy… you really are living the dream!!

#never a dull moment on Twitter