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Posts Tagged ‘ One Direction ’

News In Brief: Burton In Hot Water As Baby Theo Goes Worldwide

burton

Let it be known, this was the week in which NIB curled up into a ball and died inside.

Theo Horan (Niall’s 1-year-old nephew, in case you didn’t know) now has his own website in what can only be described as mind crushingly insane. Honestly, you know those auditionees off X-Factor that make you feel squirmy, this is like that except not only does NIB feel squirmy but also genuinely worried for Niall’s brother, father of Theo, Greg who seems to think he’s the sixth member of One Direction. Not only can you now visit the site, you can also sign up for a regular newsletter because the proud parents ‘just can’t believe how amazing our fans are’. “Our fans” Greg? Really?

Two fools tried to sell two tickets to a non-existent Kodaline gig for a fiver apiece, but were caught out when they tried to tout them to two members of the band. Ah the heady price of fame. To be fair NIB isn’t sure we’d recognise them on the street either, unable as we are, to commit a single one of their songs to memory.

In more musical news a petition has been mounted to get Joan Burton to apologise to heavy metal fans who she suggested would be far more troublesome than Garth Brooks fans, another example of the minister’s inability to see what’s going on in the real world, after Garth-gate caused protests and general outrage across the country.  So far over 357 outraged rockers have signed the petition to tar Metallica fans in particular, with a far nicer brush. Despite the trademark tattoos and body piercings they insist they wouldn’t harm a fly, a country music loving farmer from Roscommon though, that’s a different matter. Continue reading

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News In Brief: Kimye Land As Gilmore Takes Off

Kimye indulge in a bit of shopping on Grafton Street (Image: sugarscape.com)

Kimye indulge in a bit of shopping on Grafton Street (Image: sugarscape.com)

 

First they were here, then they were gone. The nation mourns the departure of ‘Kimye’, newlyweds Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, as much as we’re mourning the resignation of Eamon Gilmore as Labour Leader. NIB will let you come to your own conclusions about how much that is.

It’s true Joan’s going for the leadership role now. Great news all round. Entertainment channel E! in America were quick to jump on the bandwagon asking if she really had been spotted leaving a cinema in Portlaoise? Turns out it wasn’t her but ‘Kimye’. In case you missed it this is of course making reference to the world media being fooled by photo-shopped images of the famous couple and tweets suggesting they were just after getting themselves some breakfast rolls. Unfortunately the news about Joan isn’t a joke. Sure it may as well be her as anyone else for all the difference it’ll make. Continue reading

News In Brief: Baby Horan’s A Hit While Gerry Adams Gets Trolled

putin

The Pope is becoming a regular feature in NIB these days, more so than that Bono fella. And this week is no exception you will all be glad to know. In a ceremony to mark the first anniversary of the Pope’s inauguration Archbishop of Dublin Diarmuid Martin told the congregation the Pope isn’t popular because of any polished public image, he’s not an attention seeking superstar and he most definitely isn’t interested in ‘Christians with sour faces’ eradicating the majority of the Irish Church. He’s just a bloke! Though with history’s greatest PR man behind him.

NIB thought we were on to a good story when we saw Vladimir had called on Garda Commissioner Callinan to withdraw his ‘disgusting’ remark about police whistle-blowers, until we realised it wasn’t the leader of Russia, Vladimir Putin, making the call but our own transport minister Leo Varadkar. Disappointment doesn’t cover it, imagine that, Callinan would have withdrawn his comments, apologised profusely and baked cake for everyone if it had been Putin. Continue reading

Irish Rugby: One Direction,Right Direction

ireland

It was a pleasure to be at the Aviva Stadium last Saturday to witness Ireland versus Wales. A major banana skin lay in wait for Joe Schmidt’s rejuvenated side but they stepped over it and did it with some style. There were some huge performances all over the park from the Irish team but as an overall package, they left Wales frustrated and confused. Tactically, Schmidt again got it right. The Welsh were left with no room to run, their big ball carrying backs never got up speed when accepting a pass, they were met with a line of green, each and every time they attempted to make progress. Their frustration eventually boiled over after Paddy Jackson walked through for a late try. The Irish fly-half was followed to the ground and struck with an elbow into his face as he landed, momentum, no, malicious, yes. The follow up handbags and pushing only confirmed the frustration that the Welsh were feeling. If they came to Dublin to fight, they left it too late.

Outplayed and out thought by an Irish side not willing to give any ground, the Welsh must go back to the drawing board and hope that England can stop Irish momentum in two weeks time. If one moment of the early exchanges epitomises the Irish effort that was on display, it was a huge hit on Brian O’Driscoll by Welsh centre Scott Williams, the big screen replay is not one that went down well with the home crowd, as late as a bride at her wedding. The wind was obviously knocked out of the former Irish captain and he received treatment as play continued. The crowd erupted when he got back to his feet, he was shook but glanced forward and offered a wry smile to his assailant. Williams was replaced moments later, a shoulder injury the result of his exchange with O’Driscoll, you don’t bring a knife to a gunfight. Continue reading

News in Brief-Brooks Mania Grows As BBC Makes Unfortunate Error

bbc

NIB has been away swimming through Cork (you may have seen us on the news), hope no one was too distraught, anyway we’re back now, stop crying.

Seems while we were gone the Neknomination craze took off with dire consequences. The latest story following the Facebook phenomenon has seen an Irish girl in Australia swallow a goldfish in her “neknominated” pint. NIB hoped it was the classic carved carrot joke but sadly not. The girl, a trainee solicitor no less, from Newry has since received death threats and online abuse, to which she replied, celebs do it on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here (How did she get through the entry exams?) and, you know, she get’s it yeah? Writing on her Twitter “feel depressed.” To what extent can humans become more ridiculous? Continue reading

Twitter Reveals Most Talked About Topics Of 2013

US-ENTERTAINMENT-PAUL WALKER

Andy Murray winning Wimbledon, Manchester United losing to Real Madrid and New Year’s celebrations were among the big Twitter moments throughout Ireland and the UK in 2013.

But it was the death of two showbiz stars, Cory Monteith and Paul Walker, that pulled in the most retweets globally. Continue reading

News In Brief – McGuinness Gets Into Bed With The Queen

queen

There’s been one word on everybody’s lips this week: Bananas. As in; ’this budget is bananas’. Quite true.

Joan Burton’s quite right about one thing, cutting jobseekers allowance by €44 a week will force the young out of the dole queue and out of the country. As always with our politicians the long-term is ignored. Like when Brian Cowen, as Chancellor, failed to see the long-term detriment of overspending during the boom. To sidestep the usual light-hearted tone of NIB for a minute, the government can stick their ’culture of dependency’ up their arse.

The Moriarty Tribunal continues, yes, really. I thought Sherlock killed him under that Waterfall but it seems Moriarty didn’t give up and is claiming legal expenses from the Taoiseach’s department. What do you mean a different Moriarty? I’m talking about fictional events, corrupt baddies and dodgy dealings. At this point the expenses reach €600,000, that certainly sounds fictional. Continue reading

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