Posts Tagged ‘ ray d’arcy ’

News in Brief: Heatwave Prompts D’Arcy To Court The Snip

American consumption of Kerrygold is all wrong (image:

American consumption of Kerrygold is all wrong (image:

NIB hopes you have all sufficiently wept at our silence last week, we were away, topping up our milky tan. In the meantime it’s been hot lads, fierce hot. Mammies are making salads for god’s sake, the end is nigh.

It’s obviously getting to Ray D’Arcy who’s going to have the snip, live, on his show on Today FM. The decision came about after discussing the operation with a doctor, as most good decisions do. As the doc explained the simple procedure D’Arcy, in a heat wave reckoned he’d do it, while everyone at home listened. Whether he goes through with it is yet to be decided but rumours are TV3 are already planning a spin-off ‘Celebrity Castration: Live’ to air in the same slot as the Late Late. Continue reading

A Year in Brief: Part One


What a year it’s been; Hitler birthday cakes, mutant rats, and Bob Geldof off to space! To celebrate the end of another 365 days here are some of NIB’s favourite stories of the year.

Kicking off the year in festive spirit a man in Derry was fined after stealing a CCTV camera which “became his friend”. Police found Peter Morrison, 24, drunk and “petting” the camera as they arrived to arrest him. CCTV pets are for life not just for Christmas. Continue reading

News in Brief-Ireland Set For Scum Town As Quinn’s Daughter Loses Her Memory

Aoife-QuinnCounty Clare may soon boast the first Irish “scum town” following the introduction of similar in Amsterdam. The idea was mooted by Fine Gael Councilor Joe Arkins at a council meeting on Monday. “It sounds drastic but we are at a stage where something drastic must be done” Arkins said. These villages of the damned would house anti-social neighbours together until eventually they unite, rise up and kill us all. Continue reading

News in Brief-Broke Westlife Star May Seek Band Reunion

Under inspection from TROIKA feels like when your mum checks if you really have tidied your room. This week officials from the European Commission, European Central Bank and International Monetary Fund have arrived to check up on us to deem if Ireland is worthy of another cash biscuit from the barrel.

It’s not looking good for Westlife’s Shane Filan, in trouble with creditors over alleged €4million debts incurred by his property company. At least this may mean for Filan fans that a Westlife reunion may be quickly scheduled after their summer farewell tour.

Filan’s financial forecast has been echoing the weather this week with heavy rain and gale force winds. Despite the rain only two races were called off yesterday at Punchestown where race goers were often forced to take shelter from the wind and rain. On walking the track Ruby Walsh assured race organisers the ground was fine – on a two mile stretch he only had to change his mud covered goggles four times – fine indeed.

Ray D’Arcy has refused to retract his outburst directed at the Catholic Church last Friday. Whilst apologising for his use of language on an early morning show the Today FM presenter refuses to retract his statement to the Church hierarchy. This isn’t the only controversy concerning the church this week.

Alan Shatter announced on Wednesday a new bill outlining mandatory reporting in cases of child abuse. However confusion exists concerning whether this law will include priests that hear of pertinent details during confession although if outside of confession they must be reported under the same regulations. Auxillary Bishop of Dublin Raymond Field has stated the seal is ”unvioable” and other priests, according to the Irish Independent have suggested they would be uncomfortable about compromising the Seal of Confession regardless.

There is a loop hole in the legislation preventing the imprisonment of non-reporters if another enactment entitles a person to the refusal to disclose. Does this loop hole (more of a loop tunnel it seems) not already make the argument void, nullifying the need for priests to come forward?

Simon Cowell has been altogether too forth coming in his confessions this week. With sordid affairs and admitting regular colonic treatments to give him that ’sparkle’ in his eye. At least Cowell has had the decency to apologise for the sordid serialisation of his private life in The Sun throughout last week. Simon said he was forced to ’hide under a pillow’ as more and more of his escapades were revealed. The media coverage of these ”exclusives” we’re widespread last week with almost every tabloid running a feature, whilst Simon may have been able to escape, those of us not able to leave the country were forced to greet his smearing face at every turn.