Posts Tagged ‘ tax ’

A Year in Brief: Part One

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What a year it’s been; Hitler birthday cakes, mutant rats, and Bob Geldof off to space! To celebrate the end of another 365 days here are some of NIB’s favourite stories of the year.

Kicking off the year in festive spirit a man in Derry was fined after stealing a CCTV camera which “became his friend”. Police found Peter Morrison, 24, drunk and “petting” the camera as they arrived to arrest him. CCTV pets are for life not just for Christmas. Continue reading

News In Brief – Asda Causes A Fuss As More Anglo Cash Uncovered

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Another week, another excuse to hit the bottle. Did you raise a glass to Arthur yesterday? If so well done, you are part of the marketing machine that will keep our country attached to the teet of the booze business. Still, nice bit of Guinness though.

That was a rather bitter start (get it? Guinness, bitter?) . NIB will promise to be more positive from now on, once recovered from yesterday’s hangover.

Bono’s had enough of people going on at him for not paying tax in Ireland. Poor Bono. If there’s a spare ticket on Bob Geldof’s spaceship he might want to consider snapping it up, NIB understands tax rates on the moon are non-existent and the views rival Dalkey. On a side note have you seen the picture of Geldof in his suit? Holy mother of Bob. Continue reading

News in Brief-President Called “Acknowledged Homosexual” As Jedward Return

Olympic TorchSilly season hasn’t quite got underway with enough speed this year. NIB wants false accusations of homosexuality, sex-fetish filled Ireland and Jedward to do something stupid! Oh wait . . .

Who knew Michael D was an “acknowledged homosexual”? Not even Michael D himself, must have come as quite a surprise to his wife and four kids. American ’Forbes’ magazine was forced to issue an apology after a piece claimed Higgins was a massive gay boy. They weren’t exactly their words. Michael D wasn’t bothered though, because he’s a massive legend, he just got on with this week’s engagements. How would Enda react to similar claims NIB wonders? Continue reading

News in Brief – Photocopy murder? Best leave It To The Gardaí

"You're not in America now, sonny."

“You’re not in America now, sonny jim.”

Apparently 25 per cent of us fear being found out as lacking at work. Many of those suggesting accidentally viewing porn or something us NSFW (not safe for work) is their biggest fear. Eight per cent, according to the report in The Sun, think the photocopier is out to get them. Oh dear.

People “shouldn’t be mucking around in Garda business”. This isn’t film noir, it’s Noonan. Far away on the L.A. suburbs familiar to detective novels the Gardai are apparently having their evidence fiddled with, causing problems in court. Enter Noonan, he was a quiet man, a maverick, some call him crazy, some call him . . . other things. Passing comment in relation to the Anglo Tapes being leaked to the press he said: “The Gardai are the ones who investigate crime in this country”. Good to know of course but not exactly the narrative of a great crime thriller.

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Senator Calls for Tax on Smartphones

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Fine Gael senator Catherine Noone has called on the Irish government to implement a new tax on smartphones, one which would apparently function as an additional levy alongside VAT.

“The issue of suicide and suicide prevention is again under the spotlight in recent days, thanks in no small part to the inspirational message of Kerry teenager Donal Walsh,” she said as reported in thejournal.ie. “While government funding for suicide prevention has actually increased this year, I think we need to be looking at new ways in which to fund suicide prevention measures. Placing a small levy on the sale of smartphones could be a very simple way to generate extra revenues for this crucial area.”

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Brutal Noonan Unveils Bombshell Budget

Noonan_Budget_2013_dec052012Upon unveiling  Budget 2013 , the Minister for Finance Michael Noonan said there are signs that the country is emerging from the worst of the economic crisis but despite that he still implemented measures which make the richer richer and the poorer poorer.

He said the bailout programme was being fulfilled, but further cuts were still necessary as we are by no means out of the abyss.

The main highlights of Noonan’s brutal budget, which has no doubt been overseen by Germany prior to publication includes:

No increase in excise duty on petrol or diesel.

From midnight, a packet of 20 cigarettes increases by 10 cent while tobacco will also increase

From midnight, excise duty on a pint or beer or cider will increase by 10 cent, on a standard measure of spirits by 10 cent, and on a bottle of wine by €1.

The rate of VRT and motor tax will increase from 1 January.

Minister Noonan said a property tax would be introduced at a rate of 0.18 per cent — and for properties valued over one million euro it will be 0.25 per cent.

Unearned income for everyone else will become subject to PRSI in 2014.

From 1 July 2013, maternity benefit will be treated as a taxable income, but will continue to be exempt from the Universal Social Charge.

In his Budget speech, the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform Brendan Howlin said Public Service staff numbers will be reduced to around 287,000 in 2013.

In health, the Budget measures will result in the current 50 cent per item prescription charge for medical card holders being increased to €1.50.

People over 70 years of age with a medical card will have it replaced with a GP only card, if their weekly income is €600 to €700 for a single person or €1,200 to €1,400 for a couple.

The amount private patients have to pay for medicines each month, before the State covers the cost, rises from €132 to €144, which will save €10 million.

The health budget for next year will be €13.6 billion which the Government says represents an extra €150 million.

With Budget 2013 comes another wave of hurt and austerity for the people of Ireland, we are no closer to emerging from the abyss despite what propaganda the government sell us.

News in Brief-United We Stand,Divided We Fall

This week we (well, not me) waved goodbye to Westlife. The fab four retired from the limelight with a farewell concert at Croke Park supported by our favourite twins who perhaps for one week should remain nameless. Never before have four men hopped off stools so diligently (and so many times), whilst the two blonde ones didn’t miss a background note and the brunettes sang someone else’s song.

As well as the eighty thousand fans that filled the stadium the concert was also broadcast across cinemas in Ireland and the UK which is presumably where old member, Brian McFatOne, sorry, McFadden, watched stoically, tears lining his cheeks. He taught them that stool move and not one of them said thank you . . .
It looks like detention for Shane Filan though who will continue to be managed by Louis Walsh as he launches his solo career as the ‘male Adele’ in a bid to reverse his bankruptcy.
 
Many Ulster Bank customers have faced their own financial difficulties over the last two weeks after a ‘technical fault’ at the bank left many payments unprocessed and some accounts empty. Today, Ulster Bank staff are still trying to clear the backlog of unprocessed transactions, now extending their prediction of resumed normal service to the beginning of next week. It’s a good job we’re used to not relying on our banks anymore otherwise this newest failure on their part may have come as a surprise.
 
Talking of Jimmy Carr’s unprocessed tax transactions – we were weren’t we? – the controversy has sparked debate on this side of the water as well. Whilst we know certain superstars of our own *cough-Bono-cough* have made use of off-shore, legal, tax reduction measures it is unlikely they will face a barrage like Carr as the Irish economy relies in part on the income of the `legitimate tax avoidance measures` we offer global companies such as Facebook, Google and Apple .
 
 . . So moving swiftly on.
 
Two newly weds in Cork had trouble with a gatecrasher at their wedding, at the Castlemartyr Resort where Bill Clinton also happened to be staying. Mr Howard, who is from Killavullen in north Cork and Ms Seamans, from Minneapolis in the US, where both more than happy to squeeze the former President into a wedding snap. Now that’s one for Facebook.
Another couple who may soon be updating their statuses are the Queen and Sinn Féin MLA Martin McGuinness who cemented their friendship this week with a lovely, long handshake.
 
There’s no love lost between the Queen and Martin McGuinness, his former affiliates blew up her cousin, she’s the Queen. That’s just how it is. Or was. But after Wednesday, when they met in matching colours and shook hands not once, but twice for the assembled press it seems Anglo-Irish relations may be on the up. Or not. McGuinness was quick to reassure, ‘I’m still a Republican.’ Maybe it’s still more ‘complicated’ than ‘in a relationship’.