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Posts Tagged ‘ Tayto ’

News In Brief: Garth-Gate Simmers On As Do The Spuds!

 

We love da shpuds! (image courtesy: arandartdesings.com)

We love da shpuds! (image courtesy: arandartdesings.com)

 

Summer’s over everyone, go back indoors. There’s plenty of rather stupid news to catch-up on anyway.

The PSNI were called after a Ryder Cup flag hung up in Rory McIlroy’s hometown was mistaken for a ‘terrorist’ flag. The poor fella flying the flag was forced to explain to the plod, the emblem on his flag was actually that of the European Union that he’d put up for a party not that of ‘an Islamic terrorist group’ as was reported to the police. According to the BBC, whom the homeowner told his story in the end everyone was laughing. HAHAHA Terrorism! HAHAHA Golf! Deadly craic. Continue reading

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News in Brief – Water Scandal Breaks As Kemp Fears Dublin Death

rosskemp

50, 85, 100, 180, not the winning Lotto numbers but the ever climbing bill for Irish Water. Imagine. We’ve been paying for our water through our tax contributions for years, so surely now paying a fee for it shouldn’t incur extra cost, if anything it should just be cash in the bank shouldn’t it? Wrong. Actually, water, the thing that falls freely from the sky a lot, is going to cost us a fortune in IT systems. And it was necessary for a lot of consultants to consult on this before consulting with the Government about how much more consultations and cash were needed. If only the Government had “consulted” NIB, we could have told them it would cost a lot and basically sounds like a crap plan, all for a pint and a packet of Tayto. NIB thinks it was Phil Hogan that said; ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.’ An awful lot of expensive consultancy eggs. Continue reading

News in Brief-Dublin Man Shoots Himself As Cancer Patient Gets Trapped In Bus Luggage Compartment

patrabbitte

Communications Minister Pat Rabbitte has insisted there aren’t still ’cavemen’ in the country that don’t watch TV. Rather he reckons we’re all glued to Celeb Big Brother and RTE’s latest flop, The Hit. The only problem seems a lot of us aren’t fussed on paying our licence fee, in fact we may even go so far as to say we don’t own telly’s. Enda Kenny certainly doesn’t need one anyway with his none row seats at Tyrone vs Mayo.

You may remember a couple of NIBS ago we touched on the subject of metal detectors and their apparent heinous criminality. Well this week they’re back in the news after an unwitting man up North found the biggest arms haul in almost two decades. A local councillor described the find as “amateurish” with the weapons buried in only a shallow hole. Continue reading

News in Brief-Fat Ireland, Jailbreaking Romanians and A Bit of Posh Spice

Attack of the fat! It seems Ireland has been ranked seventh worst country in the world in terms of keeping fit. Now the Irish population are behind the Americans in the amount of exercise they take part in every week. Well we are fans of a pint of the black stuff, Tayto crisps and bread, lots of them in fact, and all while we sit on the sofa.

Don’t be offended by my casual stereotyping, everyone is doing it, including Tourism Ireland. For Londoners wanting to ’escape the madness’ of an English summer and London’s 2012 Olympics then they may consider a trip to the Emerald Isle as portrayed by Tourism Ireland in their new advert.
        Tourism Ireland’s new campaign features two likely lads testing how soon one can be sipping a pint of that famous black stuff while the other tries to get a coffee in the commuter-locked city. ’Yer Man’ (fulfilling another stereotype) ends up in a very nice pub after the ’classic sheep shot’ (seriously now?) before ’Office Boy’ makes it to work. All that are missing are some little men in green.
        Chris O’Dowd is the funny voice of the campaign after apparently tweeting that he’d like to be the voice of Irish tourism in Britain. Hey @TourismIreland I’ll be your voice of Ireland in the Mediterranean. No?
If you commit crime but can’t do the time at least remember your manners. That is what two male prisoners have done this week. The escapees, or unaccounted for inmates, as the authorities prefer, left the Castlerea prison in Roscommon where they were serving time for breaking into parking meters. Obviously though, they felt they had served their time leaving the prison and a note; “Sorry, we had no choice”. Well, manners do cost nothing, a thieves favourite price.
What’s the Dail’s favourite price? Over priced. Recession? What recession? You wouldn’t know we were a country in trouble if you walked into the sea of tablet screens that will soon be the Dail. Each member is to receive new tablet computers in steps to “modernise” government. Apparently the cost of the tablets will be recouped through a reduction in printing costs as members will be able to access bills, notes and information on their tablets, on the go. Hey Dail, I’ll have a free iPad! Not you either?
Victoria Beckham, the famously miserable face of brand Beckham has been in Dublin this week to promote her clothing line in Brown Thomas. The always austere Posh Spice was however upstaged by her daughter Harper, as she took tentative steps across the shop floor (reminiscent of her mother in her excessive heels). Predictably and uninterestingly  the media went mad with an image of the teetering tot going viral worldwide but not of them noticed the note left behind; “Sorry, I had no choice”.
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