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Posts Tagged ‘ Tom Cruise ’

News in Brief-Cruise Is A ‘Nob As Enda Assembles Egg Deterrent Army

Tom Cruise is a Nobber! It’s true, it’s true, he apparently has ancestral links back to the town in County Meath (whose name isn’t funny at all). Not only that but it seems Cruise could be a distant relation (with a capital DISTANT) to our dear Ryan Tubridy, now Tubs has had his wages cut perhaps Tom could lend him a few euro.

Misquoting, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake’ Stephen Dedalus said in the wake of the production of the celebratory silver James Joyce coins. Featuring a line from Joyce’s great work Ulysses the €10 coins (which cost €43) released by the Central Bank have had to be withdrawn and an embarrassed apology offered after an extra word was added. Honestly, next they’ll be putting in punctuation. Perhaps the sculptor who designed the coins was demonstrating her own stream of consciousness? Continue reading

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Film 2013 : A Preview Of What’s To Come

Like last year 2013 brings  a lot of big blockbuster movies filled with comic book superheroes, sequels and 80’s remakes. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and Tom Cruise are back in the mix, saving the world and killing all the bad guys. Even Stephanie Meyers can’t leave us alone after her schmalzy “Twilight Saga” has finally come to an end and gives us a parasitic alien in the form of Saoirse Ronan. Sometimes it really does feel like Hollywood has run out of ideas and just regurgitates what has already proven to be box-office gold. But that isn’t always a bad thing, as you’ll know what you’re getting for your money when you buy a ticket.

Here is a quick rundown of some of the big films coming out throughout the year, but as we know in films, timelines are fluid so see the months as guidelines not craved in stone.

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January starts of with a big bang and Arni in “The Last Stand”. Schwarzenegger is the disgraced LAPD officer Ray Owens who is serving out his time in the sleepy little town Summerton Junction. When drug lord Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) shows up all hell breaks lose and Schwarzenegger is back to his good old standard of killing people with big guns. Maybe not a film for the Oscars but if you like action movies and are an Schwarzenegger fan “The Last Stand” won’t disappoint, even if the plot is a little weak and the acting a little wooden.

Other Films like “Lincoln”, “The Sessions” and Django Unchained” have already been winning prizes and if you want to know more about them just follow the links.

February is filled with lots of light-hearted comedy in Films like “This is 40”, “Parental Guidance”, “I Give It A Year” and “Wreck-it Ralph”. But there is a good balance with dramas like Oscar nominee “Flight” and Bafta nominee “Hitchcock”.

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However the biggest blockbuster could possibly be action film “A Good Day to Die Hard”. Bruce Willis returns as John McClane and this time it’s his son Jack (Jai Courtney) who needs help. When he discovers that his son is actually a CIA agent trying to prevent the Russians from blowing up the world with nuclear weapons the father and son team up and try and save the day.

March is a month of science fiction and fantasy with “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” tracking down evil hags and killing them. “G.I Joe” makes a return to cinemas and  Percy Jackson, Poseidon’s son, is also back in “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters”. Nicholas Hoult is “Jack the Giant Slayer” and Saoirse Ronan plays “The Host” to a parasitic alien.

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The one to watch is probably “Elysium”. With Director Neil Blomkamp (District-9) at its helm this sci-fi thriller looks promising. In the year 2159 the human population is split in two, the very wealthy who live on the man made space station Elysium and the rest who live in the slums of earth. Matt Damon plays the hero Max who is trying to bring equality back. Jodie Foster is his adversary Secretary Delacourt who will stop at nothing to keep the wealthy rich.

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April, this is where things start to get a little hazy but it looks like we’ll be seeing a remake of Stephen King’s “Carrie” return to the big screen.  Chloe Grace Moretz (Hit Girl from Kick Ass) replaces Sissy Spacek as Carrie, a shy high school kid who discovers her telekinetic powers and unleashes some supernatural nastiness on her peers.  And it could be that this is the month that we see Tom Cruise again in his upcoming film “Oblivion”.

May could be the mega month of releases with “Iron Man 3”, “Star Trek 2”, “The Hangover 3”, “Fast Six” (Fast and the Furious franchise) and the  Lone Ranger all hoping to lure us into the cinema.

Although the “Lone Ranger” is a new project for Walt Disney Pictures it does reunite Johnny Depp and his Pirates Director Gore Verbinski.  Depp is Tonto who tells the tales of John Ried (Armie Hammer) or the Lone Ranger as he’s better known.

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But May is also said to be the month that the long awaited “Great Gatsby “ finally graces our screens.  With Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby and Toby Maguire as Nick Carraway it looks like it could have been worth the wait.

June brings back the “Man of Steel”. This time round it’s handsome Henry Cavill (Cold Light of Day) who is clad in the blue tights and red panties but that isn’t his only support, Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner and Laurance Fishburne all make an appearance.

Brad Pitt may prove all doubters wrong that the project “World War Z” was filmable after all, when we see him starring in the Paramount production.

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And Hugh Jackman has let his hair grow again for his starring role in “The Wolverine”. This time around it’s off to Japan, who knows maybe those claws will prove useful when making sushi.

But Will Smith is also back in M Night Shyamalan’s “After Earth”. This action Sci-fi  film is only directed by Shyamalan so hopefully it will be better than “The Last Airbender”.

July reunites Stephen Spielberg with science fiction in his film “Robopocalypse”. The film is based on the book by Daniel H Wilson and seems quite similar to “I, Robot”.

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But again Hollywood gives us sequels with “Grown-ups 2” “The Smurfs 2”and “Dispicable Me 2”, and “Jurassic Park” will be stomping its way back into Cinemas in 3D on it’s 25th (yes really) birthday.

“Dirty Dancing” is being re-made and said to be released in June. But after the disastrous “Total Recall”, “Fame” and “Footloose” reboots of the last few years maybe this isn’t such a wise idea. After all can anyone really replace Patrick Swayze as Jonny and Jennifer Grey as Baby? Some films should just be left alone!

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August gives us the return of the retired, extremely dangerous crowd in “RED 2”, who knows maybe like “The Expendables” this will be better second time round. But “300:Battle of Artemisia” will at least give us scantily clad men with eight packs to watch, even I do yell a lot! And even “Sin City: A Dame To Kill For” and “Robocop” seem to be on the list of films to come out in the middle of Summer.

As for the rest of the films that are coming out this year things seem to be even less plannable. But some of the other 2013 big blockbusters that will be beckoning you to take a seat and nibble some pop-corn are:

“Oz the Great and Powerful” (March)

“Kick Ass “ (July?)

“The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones” (possibly August)

“Monster University”

“Enders Game” (October)

“Thor: The Dark World” (November)

“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” (possibly in November)

“The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug” (December)

By Jensine-Bethna Wall

Tomkat Reach Divorce Settlement

It’s old news now that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have decided to part ways, with Katie intending sole custody of their only daughter, six year old, Suri. Who’d blame her? With the poor child destined for a Scientology bootcamp.

Katie’s attorney slipped this snippet today; “The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life. We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.” No details of the actual settlement have been released though.

I guess Tom’s used to this lark at this stage, this is divorce number three. And of course there’s the odd coincidences regarding his previous wives ages (all being 33 when they reached their end-of marriage)…

Reports have also stated that Katie was not being followed by Scientology spies, although this has prompted her to fire her security team blaming their ties with her now ex-husband.

Both Tom and Katie released a joint statement ensuring the world that they are “committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests…” But of course they are.

News in Brief-Ulster Bank and Centra in Trouble As Burglary Victim Forced To Pick Gardai Up

A priceless piece of art in the National Gallery has been damaged in an isolated incident. The only work by Claude Monet owned by the National is now having repairs to a hole made in it by forty-seven year old Andrew Shannon from Dublin. Details are still unclear as to what was done to the painting or why but one thing is certain the work, ‘Argenteuil Basin with a Single Sail Boat’ won’t be worth much Monet anymore!

      Centra have had a slap of the wrist after including an alcohol offer on an advertisement for Child Allowance day reductions. The company was criticised for appearing to suggest forty bottles of Budweiser were the best thing to buy with your benefits as 1 in 11 children in Ireland live with a parent with an alcohol problem.
 
        Fianna Fail Senator Averil Power said, “Centra’s cynical promotion is insulting to parents who are struggling to pay for the basics and certainly won’t be spending their money on beer.” But the cake, ice-cream and biscuits also part of the advertisement are presumably the kind of necessities that are top of their lists? Specially as 1 in five Irish children are obese. Two for one on fags I say! Buy a gun, get one free! No?
 
Fancy some government debt? Try eBay. Minister for Finance Michael Noonan has done particularly well at auction selling off €500 million in short-term government debt. The bills sold, reach maturity in October, no interest is paid on them and the government must pay them in full when they reach maturity. Noonan called the sale a, “very important milestone on Ireland’s continuing path to recovery”. I just hope he understands it more than I do.
 
       A quick round of applause for Ulster Bank Chief Executive, Jim Brown who has said he will turn down this year’s bonus after the unmitigated disaster that has been Ulster Bank’s computer problems. Thanks Jim.
 
And while we’re at it one for An Post. They spectacularly spent €80,000 on eight Italian-made Cargo scooters for use on Dublin’s mail routes. They were painted, branded, tested and trialled and found to be useless. The scooters have now been sold to a businessman from Letterkenny who bought each bike at a reduced price of €1,500. I’m sure he thought it a redletter day.
 
       A victim of a burglary was forced to go and pick up Gardai after she was told there were no patrol cars for them to use. The woman, from Newtowncunningham in Co. Donegal initially reported the incident a her home, before being told she had the choice of waiting for the nearest patrol car, which was 9km away at the Carrigans station, or collecting the Gardai herself to investigate the incident.
 
Guards aren’t the only ones who have stopped cruising, after the announcement of a split between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (see what I did there?). Katie Holmes, most famous for playing Joey in Dawson’s Creek and Tom for being a seriously strange Scientologist, are now set to play their biggest roles yet in an acrimonious and media maintained divorce.
 
In other more interesting news; Pudsey, the pooch that won Britain’s Got Talent with his dancing owner Ashleigh, has signed a publishing contract worth £350,000. That’s right he can dance, he can write, but can he do his own stunts? ‘Pudsey: My Autobiography’ comes on the tail of Roy Keane’s dog Triggs also releasing a biography this year. Who will be next, Bo Obama? Tinkerbell Hilton? It’s a dog’s life.
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