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Without Limits

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Nicolas Maduro

La Casona

Calle 1, Caracas 1071,

Venezuela

 

Nicolas,

Firstly, apologies for writing this letter in English, but my Spanish is limited. I was intrigued recently to read of your innovative idea for combating opportunists taking advantage of the subsidy your government gives to Venezuelan producers, (by purchasing vast quantities of foodstuffs from the Venezuelan supermarkets ‘apparently up to 40% of all foodstuffs produced’, and smuggling them over the border into Colombia, and then selling them at a more favourably rate than the local produce) by introducing a mandatory fingerprinting system in all Venezuelan supermarkets. Continue reading →

2014
09/10
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There’s Meth-od To German Politician’s Madness

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Far and Away the best example of spin this correspondent has encountered in the twenty-odd years of observing the news, came from reading about a Mr Michael Hartmann, (the Social Democrat Member of Parliament for Wackernheim, a small town in western Germany) and his recent experience of being on the wrong side of the German law.

Mr Hartmann’s brush with the law began back in July when he was named by a local drug-dealer as purchasing Crystal Meth (drug similar to speed) from said dealer.

Unfortunately for Mr Hartmann, he was unable to deny this breach of German law (his word against the drug-dealer) as the dealer had been under police surveillance at the time. Continue reading →

2014
08/28
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Blame Laying- David Drumm And The Spanish Siesta

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Reading the other day of how an Irish Times article caught David Drumm, (ex-chief executive of Anglo Irish Bank) on the hop in the summer of 2008, this correspondent was reminded of a holiday to the Basque city of San Sebastian some years back, where he too was also caught unaware- by the commercial culture of siesta-time.

Early on, on the holiday, your correspondent was shocked to discover that all shops hung a sign inside their doors in the afternoon reading- ‘Cerrado por 13h-16h meaning ‘Closed from 1pm-4pm’. Continue reading →

2014
08/13
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Out In The Cold

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Last week was a tough week for this correspondent, with his favourite child-hood football team Brazil who used to (play like light colliding on crystal) sparkle, being played off the park at the World Cup.

Also your correspondence’s submissions for work (sent the previous week) to various publishers were met with unrequited responses (evidence being an empty post box and in-box). Continue reading →

2014
07/17
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Poetic Justice

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As a young child this correspondent was a bit slow on the uptake. Your correspondent would demonstrate this by an inability to grasp that answering one’s parents back would lead to a belt (in school it was punishment work).

It took this correspondent a good few belts and a couple of apology notes to cop that not arguing back had its benefits i.e. pain and punishment-free living.

Your correspondent was reminded of his youthful self while reading about the travails of a Mr Lewis Shawcross from Plymouth, England.

Last August, Lewis (aged twenty) had an altercation with two local police officers over the speed he was doing on his motorcycle. Continue reading →

2014
06/30
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Replacing Greatness: A Ferg-etful Experience

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The other week your correspondent managed to get through a Simon Barnes’ sports article in the Times newspaper without being provoked. Not an easy task, this correspondent can tell you (from previous experience). Simon’s style of scribing (for those unaccustomed to him) is best read while in a relaxed frame of mind, as his views (on sporting topics) can aggravate an already irritable mood.

To demonstrate this case in point your correspondent shall use the last article read of Simon’s (story he wrote about following an Autocrat; David Moyes failed succession to Alex Ferguson) to display how a reader’s temper can go from frayed to livid. Continue reading →

2014
05/23
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The Definition Of Friendship

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A friend of mine, a few years back, told me he could only regard somebody as a friend after knowing them for ten-years (Can call him a friend, not because I know him for ten-years, but because this correspondent can tell him he is talking b*ll*x).

Your correspondent was reminded of his friend’s saying recently after reading about an incident involving an eighty-two year old, retired naval captain called John Caughey and his club (the Emsworth Sailing Club in Hampshire, England).

It was reported by people who knew John, that he had been having a stressful time preparing to move house. They claim the move had made him anxious, unhappy and was driving him up the wall. As a way of releasing this stress John got into his Volvo one morning and drove his car into the club’s wall. Witnesses claim he then got out of the wreckage, poured petrol over it and set it alight. It was estimated that John did £100,000 worth of damage to the club, destroying 30% of the building. Continue reading →

2014
05/10
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Teen Expelled For Possessing Array Of Weapons

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Your correspondent has found himself in some ropey situations in his time. For example, he has been asked to teach to some remarkably badly behaved pupils and also has had to play football with one or two team-mates who consistently react in an egregious fashion to incidences that haven’t gone their way on the field of play.

This correspondent has found from experience that one’s actions can influence the degree of ropiness (either making it more or less ropey).

Your correspondent will always plump for an action that will reduce ropiness (has a dislike for non-staged drama, disruption to teaching in the classroom and mass brawls on football fields). Continue reading →

2014
04/30
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Cold Comfort In Words Of John Waters

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The other morning while tucking into a fry-up at the local greasy-spoon this correspondent became aware of a heated discussion from the restaurant’s radio. The radio had been tuned to a station broadcasting a phone-in show, with two callers having a heated exchange on the subject of whether depression exists or not. After the trading of a few insults, the show’s host intervened to cool things down, and explained the reason for having the discussion, stemmed from recent views expressed by the journalist John Waters that there is no such thing as depression.

A bit bewildered by what the host had said your correspondent finished off his breakfast and headed home to google John’s comments (maybe he’d been misquoted or taken out of context). This correspondent found a report of the interview in which John was asked if he had become depressed as a result of the recent national backlash against him. (Hostile criticism came from John’s views on Gay couples adopting; he’s against it and opposed to all adoptions at present; until more equal laws for fathers are first implemented), Continue reading →

2014
04/17
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Dead Indian Guru Frozen In Hope Of Second Coming

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As court performances go, in the one-and-a-half-score-years of observing Rumpole of the Bailey and Judge Judy, your correspondent recently came across a remarkable piece of legal persuasion.

This adept arguing occurred during a dispute involving the followers of Indian Guru (spiritual advisor/teacher) Ashutosh Maharaj and his former driver.

The dispute arose from an objection by Ashutosh’s ex-driver, to him being kept in a freezer by his followers at his Ashram (monastery) in the town of Nurmahal, Punjab, India. Continue reading →

2014
04/10
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